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Tablets on toast…

Alarm clock rings

Birds sing

Half awake

The bedside lights are still burning

I’m still afraid to sleep in the dark these days

in case the demons return

And I’ve noticed I’ve lost my place in the book I was reading

Before I fell into a dreamlike state

Awake

I am conscious not just of my surroundings

But that my mood has flatlined whilst I’ve been sleeping

Barely I crawl out of bed

I don’t shower

Or dress

Its not the kind of day for effort

I make my way to the kitchen

With glass half empty

And toast on my plate

I pop the pills 1, 2, 3, and 4 onto the toast

But I don’t feel full

Like cheese and beans would make me feel

Tablets on toast just make me feel numb

Until I feel sleepy

Whilst all round me their day has just begun

Mehefin Bolland © 2018

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Regret …

Would we ever have got past the ‘seven-year itch’?

Would our bed have become a bed of death?

I guess we’ll never know

Why did we give up on us too easily , me and you

Couldn’t we have fought harder to save our love?

I suppose life and distance always seemed to get in the way

Yet despite this no one could ever replace you

You are the frozen prayer, the miracle

I asked for

Back then

When my life was missing a piece

I now realise was you

I still speak of you in the present not the past

Because you’ve never really left have you?

You are my biggest regret for I should never have let you go

You are a constant presence that lurks beneath my skin

That stirs whenever I think of you

A temptation I must try to ignore

Mehefin Bolland © 2018

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Sex…

Sex
This is what I want to share with you
To have your naked body
Lie with mine
Mouth
Hands
Fingers
I need to feel your touch
To be skin on skin with you
Until our bodies lie entwined
All of you
I want to rediscover the parts of you
I have missed so much
To let my senses get high on you
Complete
And when we are both satisfied
Unware there is anything
other than the space we now occupy
I want us to lie there face to face
With our gaze locked
So to feel the emotional connection
Of the intimacy we have just shared
Copyright 2014 June Bolland

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Attraction …

I was never attracted to blondes until met her

to me they always seem to be blue eyed and too pale

They were just not what I looked for in a female

You see I had a type

All my other girlfriends  

were dark skinned coffee coloured eyed dykes

So what changed?

How do I begin to explain how the attraction

began to occur

To be honest it all a blur

It was 7 years ago

When she  literally turn up at my door

But one thing for sure

She’s caring and kind and her heart s so pure

And when she opens her mouth and speaks

Her accent makes me melt and go weak

I could listen to her all day

And yet despite her caring side

she feisty and wild

She made me see life from a different angel

she’s turned my world on its head

And it’s not just the passion she brought to our bed

It’s beyond that 

It’s the fact

 She believes in me

She see’s things in me other people don’t see

 So forget all the women I’ve loved in past

With their coffee eyes, black hair  

and dark skin I loved them individually

For reasons and for seasons

But they were never meant to last

Because with her you see

No one can hold a candle

 For I will love her for a thousand life times

Because being with her was met to be 

Copyright 2014 June Bolland

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Love letter…

I’m trying to write a love letter

If I’m being honest

I started off quite well

I’ve managed to write down her name

“Dear J”

But then the nib of my pen

became frozen to the page

And so did the thoughts in my brain

I’m trying to express the way I feel

But my head is full of facts it doesn’t

Know where it’s at

So many questions and answers

Of my desires of wanting her

And how I’ve missed her touch

And how I long for her kisses

Of how I  love her

so very  much

But do I dare

after asking her to take things slow

Maybe that’s the reason I haven’t got

Any further than “Dear Jo “

My head screams

So I try to relax, refrain

Start again

But the nib of my pen is still

frozen to the page

The words just won’t come

They cannot be written

Maybe it’s time for this bullet to bitten

Maybe I should just ring her instead

COPYRIGHT 2014 June Bolland

May contain Rants

Between the dusk and the dawn…

In the dark hours between dusk and dawn

When my thoughts are at their darkest

When dancing demons taunt me

When their voices tease my thoughts

You are my one constant vision of hope

You with your words of comfort

Yours are the lips that kiss the tears away

Yours are the hugs that banishes the lonely thoughts away

So in the dark hours between dusk and dawn

It’s you, only you that gets me through the night

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland