May contain Rants

Serotonin sunshine…

sun (1)

I want to wake to a serotonin sun shining through my window

I want to feel the warmth of it penetrate my skin again

I want to feel my heart beating to a joyous rhythm

I want to dance like no one is watching

I want to glow like the ‘ready brek’ kids do on cold winter mornings

I want to feel

Happy

Happy

Happy once more

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Between the dusk and the dawn…

In the dark hours between dusk and dawn

When my thoughts are at their darkest

When dancing demons taunt me

When their voices tease my thoughts

You are my one constant vision of hope

You with your words of comfort

Yours are the lips that kiss the tears away

Yours are the hugs that banishes the lonely thoughts away

So in the dark hours between dusk and dawn

It’s you, only you that gets me through the night

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

3 am in the morning…

3 am in the morning

I find myself sitting by the window

Watching the stillness of the sea

Thoughts running around my head

My heads too busy to sleep

With pen in hand and a blank page laid before me

I look over to you sleeping

My inspiration

But I cannot write tonight

There are too many thoughts running

Around my head tonight

So sit and watch you for a while

You breathe in unison with the tides

Your stillness always calms me

It soothes me

Like the ocean does

It makes me feel safe

Slowly I drift off into a state of peace

5 am in the morning

I am awoken by your voice

“Its 5 am in the morning

You’re freezing

Come back to bed”

And safely you returned me to lie next you

Beneath the thick cotton cocoon

5:30 am in the morning

With the stillness of you wrapped around me

Thoughts no longer run around my head

Calm

Safe

We drift off back into a state of peace

Both breathing in unison with the tides as we do

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Towards the sun …

I’ve lost my way

I ‘ve been running away from the sun

To a place that’s all too familiar

To a place tinged with sadness and pain

Where only dark clouds follow me

I need the stillness and the time to think

To recollect my thoughts

To retrace my steps

But I ran away from the sun

I have lost sight of my shadow

My guide that helps me home

But which way do I now turn?

East?

West?

North?

Or

South?

Then I remember there are five fixed points

On my compass

I need to follow the direction towards

Love!

Home to her

Home to my mother

Home to those friends

Who care enough

Who love me enough

These are one’s who light my way

On this dark forsaken road

Back to them

Back home

Back towards the sun

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

I’m the land of words

books

“Child hide!” my inner voice would say

As the voices boomed from the kitchen

And I would run as fast as my tiny feet would carry me

Behind the sofa I would hide

But as the noise began to

Ricochet off the walls and the ceiling

Crouched I’d sit

And

Hide my face away

Deep in the blackness

Of my cotton and acrylic cave

I would stay

Until the noise would cease

And they would come and  find me

And with remorseful hugs

They would hold me

On those days when my parents needed to talk

I was given refuge with my grandfather

His house was a refuge for people

And for books

Rows of musty smelling

Hard backed books

Treasure Island

Robinson Crusoe

Little women

And book with words that didn’t have chapters

But with words that dance beautifully across the page

 Betjeman, Yeats, Woolf and T.S Elliot to name but a few

I listened as he would recite stories of far off lands

And hang on to every word

Of those of verses of love he would recite

I remember his heart danced

But his voice would quiver

I now realise he was thinking of my grandmother

As I grew I would search for those words he read

And lock them away inside my head

  So for those times when my thoughts are dark

And those demons come a knocking

I no longer hide behind seated barricades

I no longer hide away in my cotton and acrylic cave

I escape to the land of words

Where demons  are not welcome.

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

I'm the land of words

books

“Child hide!” my inner voice would say

As the voices boomed from the kitchen

And I would run as fast as my tiny feet would carry me

Behind the sofa I would hide

But as the noise began to

Ricochet off the walls and the ceiling

Crouched I’d sit

And

Hide my face away

Deep in the blackness

Of my cotton and acrylic cave

I would stay

Until the noise would cease

And they would come and  find me

And with remorseful hugs

They would hold me

On those days when my parents needed to talk

I was given refuge with my grandfather

His house was a refuge for people

And for books

Rows of musty smelling

Hard backed books

Treasure Island

Robinson Crusoe

Little women

And book with words that didn’t have chapters

But with words that dance beautifully across the page

 Betjeman, Yeats, Woolf and T.S Elliot to name but a few

I listened as he would recite stories of far off lands

And hang on to every word

Of those of verses of love he would recite

I remember his heart danced

But his voice would quiver

I now realise he was thinking of my grandmother

As I grew I would search for those words he read

And lock them away inside my head

  So for those times when my thoughts are dark

And those demons come a knocking

I no longer hide behind seated barricades

I no longer hide away in my cotton and acrylic cave

I escape to the land of words

Where demons  are not welcome.

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

My Heart

care of heartThere’s fragility to my heart

Yours alone to handle

Yours alone control the rhythm of its beats

Yours alone to do what you wish

Love it

Care for it

Save it

Nuture it

Do as you wish

Just promise me you will try not to

Break it

Damage it

Or

Lose it

I give the fragility of my heart to you

It belongs to no one else but you

It is yours until the last beat stops beating

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland