May contain Rants

She…

I was going to write a review of 2014 , but to be honest it’s a year I personally wish to forget.I had an occuring bipolar episode which has effected me most of the year. I nearly lost the love of my life because I pushed her away,  she left me for abit, but thankfully returned.Since then she has been at my side every step of the way.

I’ve never met a person with so much love and compassion. Dedicates most her time to helping and caring for me and her loved ones with no hesitation and never asks for anything return.

So I’m taking her away on a lovers holiday in the New Year to say thank you and to show her that no amount of words or poetry can really express the love I feel for her, sometimes showing her is far more important, anyway we’re going to spend some much dedicated time to all the things she loves to do and had missed out on for so long (one being Beach walking).

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Scars and broken vases…

How would I feel?

How would I react?

To  possibility  that

I could meet you again

The thought of it chills me to my core

Not that I should be scared

Of upsetting you anymore

Or upset at

Remembering the things

You did

Bites, kicks, closed fist and of how I hid

I have a montage of scars concealed

And broken vases fixed

I probably try to evade you

But If I were to meet you again

I’d probably pity you

Copyright 2014 June Bolland

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Girls with no names…

I was never the settling down type

I didn’t buy the whole relationship thing

I didn’t believe in all the hype

I played the field

I kissed so many girls with no names

Broke so many hearts

to my shame

But non were ever good enough to last

And so quickly I moved on

Until there was you

 

Now I see myself growing old with you

As for the whole relationship thing

I’d say our matching rings say everything

Never again with there be anymore with no name

That was in the past

For your name is tattoo on my heart

I promise never to break your heart

Because I love only you

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Thoughts…

We were two strangers

Until that first kiss

Remember how we smiled

through the whole thing

That was before the demons

took over the roller coaster ride

And my life became a series

of mania and depression

They say I now need timeout  

To  allow you time to recover

from all the hurt I’ve instill on you

That I need to quieten my mind

To allow my brain to recover

That I need to take my pills

to attend the therapy

and to learn how to control

the rapid thoughts that

race around my head 

Yet when I’m

Alone at night

I still think of you

And that first kiss when

We were strangers

Copyright June Bolland 2014

May contain Rants

Pebbles…

We are pebbles you and I

I am flawed

For I have weathered too many rough seas

But you are perfect

In my eyes

Soft and smooth

But yet together we are so similar

Grounded

We do not bury ourselves in the sand

We have withstood the storms

And survived

With nothing but a perfect a horizon laid

Out before us

No dark clouds above

Just a blue sky tomorrow can we see

As we bask in sun Side by side

We are each others rock you and I

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Walls of kisses

wall-of-kisses--large-msg-132494150281

When the darkness becomes dark

And the moon is hiding

The melconholy clock strikes

Tick Tock Tick Tock

I weep in corners of our room

Wanting to make the clocks stop

Trying to escape the fog

That coverts my mind

With train of thoughts

Escalating deeper down

It wraps itself around everything good

Everything  but you

It’s you who ventures into my dark corner

It’s you who stops the mood pendulum from swinging

It’s you who wraps yourself around me

to stop the pain

to stop the tremors

to stop the thoughts from escalating

It’s you who shows me the way through the fog

It’s you who shows me our room has more the dark corners

Where I hide

It’s you who shows me our room with it’s walls of kisses

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Between the dusk and the dawn…

In the dark hours between dusk and dawn

When my thoughts are at their darkest

When dancing demons taunt me

When their voices tease my thoughts

You are my one constant vision of hope

You with your words of comfort

Yours are the lips that kiss the tears away

Yours are the hugs that banishes the lonely thoughts away

So in the dark hours between dusk and dawn

It’s you, only you that gets me through the night

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

All of you! …

At-the-River-212x300Saturday afternoon

With nothing much to do

Your  catching up with your work

Typing reports

And

I’m staring out of  the window

Thinking like I usually do

Tracing the raindrops

As they dance down the window pane

I glance at you

Concentration on your face

It got me thinking

What was it I first noticed about you?

Was it your eyes?

Hypnotic blue that cast a spell over me

Was it your long locks of golden blonde?

That radiated me towards you

Was it your mouth full and inviting?

Your lips have always been enticing

Or was it something much deeper

I first notice about you

Could it have been

The gentleness of your soul?

That attracted me like a moth

To the warmth , its brightness

I cannot really be sure

But whatever it was

That first time we met

I know one thing now

I love all of you!

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Between the light and the shadow…

GOLDEN

Deep into the forest of despair

I once travelled

Down  the  many paths of loneliness

I walked

Weighed down by the heaviness

Of my shattered heart

I struggled

Longing for a chance to lay

My broken spirit

                                   Then by chance

I came across a valley

And

In the distance

I  saw a  golden sky

Its  warmth

guided me

To a river so clear

 Then I  saw you

Stood there by the river bank

Arms stretched out

You called me over

You held my broken body

To your breast

You fixed my broken heart

You washed away the ingrained pain

You quenched my thirst with your kisses

You fed me a diet of love

And when  my strength was returned

You helped me to my feet

You  made a promise to me then

To keep me from returning

Back to the forest of despair

To be caught

Between the light and the shadow

Five years you’ve kept your promise

No longer do I walk alone

But side by side with you

We  now continued to walk

Towards the warmth of the  golden sky

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

When you are ready

hugs console

We share a love

You and I

Bound by

An unbreakable cord tied by the fates

So do not hide yourself behind a life once lived

With  its memories overshadowed by shame

It has been  hidden too long

Beneath the ribbons that bind  it in its guilt

Allow me to lift  the burden that weighs down your heart

Let my  love rid you of its torment

Of this  life once  lived

Its memories now belong to its past

For we now have today  and a tomorrow

New memories to forge

And  for when you ready

I will be here (as always)

With my heart brimming with love (ready to heal you)

And arms open (ready to hold you)

With shoulders so broad (they will soak up yours tears)

When you are ready

I will be here.

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Time and Distance

luckyI watched you unpack

Your suitcase

I missed you I said

You stopped, smiled

Turned and kissed me on the cheek

And said I’ve missed you too

But I was only gone four days

The house was quiet without you

I said

Empty, tidy but colder

But in a funny way

I missed your mess

I’m glad your home

You turned wrapped

your hand in mine

Until you squeezed it tightly

And said I’m glad I’m home too

But I was only in Amsterdam

My minds been working overtime

Without you here to calm it

I said

You’ve been on my mind constantly

You let go of my hand and hugged me

and  said I thought of nothing but you too

But I told you it was only four days away in Amsterdam

I know I said its seems nothing

when you say like that

But in seconds it sounds so much worst

In my mind

You were  gone for

345600 seconds

and seemed so far away

 495 Kilometres away to be exact!

I told you my mind’s been

working over time

But I missed you

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

From Morning until dusk

mornThe morning is for us

From that first kiss that awakes

Me from my dreams about you

To smiling at you as lying next to me

The mid-morning and afternoons are full of thoughts of you

Mid-morning smoke breaks and texts from you

To counting down the hours til you get home

Lunchtime chats that end with I love you

The evening is always spent will you?

Catching up on the day’s events we’ve both been through

Listening to music, watching TV, me writing poetry and you bringing me tea

Evening full of laughter, and chatter

The dusk is for us

Filled with passion and the exquisite touch of you

Alone time, our time

And kisses we share to send us to our slumber

And as we lie face to face we both say goodnight

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

My Angel needs love

Sometimes my angel needs to rest her wings     angel wings on chair

It’s can be tiring taking

Care of everyone else but herself

Sometimes she just needs the security within my arms

To feel the love surround her, shield her

On those days that are bad

When she is reminded of past memories

That suddenly just appear

To understand and have no fear

That I am always here

To bestow a thousand kisses

To know that I will be there to rock her to sleep

And dry her tears as she weeps

and neatly put away her wings

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

That Autumn evening

dress floWe met in the spring. You always can recall of how it was an instant connection, the thing we now know to be love. By late summer we had fallen in love. Sharing passionate kisses and lingering embraces. But never taking it further. We had to be sure that this was really something we wanted to pursue. You were 21 and I was 42, but yet the years in between melted away. You had never experienced real love, these feelings were so new to you and I was well still healing from her and then came that evening in early autumn…

Do remember I came round to see you

I think we were both aware what was about to take place that evening

It had been building for weeks, but now with minds free, mind set

We were ready to take to another level

I remember how beautiful you looked in that floral dress

And how nervous you were

You were trembling like the leaves blowing in the autumn winds

On the trees outside your window

I remember how inviting your lips were as you nervously spoke

I remember I pressed my finger to your lips and told you shh

And then I kissed you and you kissed me back

And how I began to unbutton your dress

And how you undid my belt

I remember taking off that floral dress

It was like the unveiling of statue of a Goddess

You were beautiful

My Venus

Then both together there alone equal in our nakedness

We laid together

God we were so nervous

And then it began with the sharing of kisses

And touching of faces, mouth, neck and breasts

We became relaxed

Emotions let free

Months of anticipation gone

That first connection

Was one of peaceful intimacy

Slowly, we explored each other

Pleasure should never be rushed

And slowly the intensity began to build

Until the moment of pure euphoria

Erupted between our thighs

Remember how we laid there after

Just staring into each other eyes

With still lingering fingers you traced my face

As I did yours

I remember when the evening was over

I  watched you putting back on your floral dress

Knowing that life would never be quite the same

For you and I

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Sex appeal!

your interesting and different.I remember our first date

Walking home with you

And your fingers found the spaces between mine

They locked, shut tight

As if you had caught me and

I knew there and then it was for keeps.

We stopped and lingered at your door

You said you wanted me, right there and then

I told you don’t! I didn’t put it out on first dates

I told you I wanted to get to know you just a little bit more

In fact it was 6 months and 3 days until I finally lay with you!

You told me I oozed sex appeal

I laughed nervously, a knee jerk reaction

No one had ever said that to me before

Say it again I asked you, so to make sure I wasn’t thinking it out loud

Because that how I felt about you too

But it was true you had said it and I replied but why what is that you see

That evades my vision.

I think went onto protest a little too much,

I am straight up and down, but you have the most wonderful breasts I exclaimed

(I had notice them once or twice during our night).

I have a crooked nose I inherited off my grandfather

How can you possibly say I ooze sex appeal?

When you stand there looking like a Goddess

You are beautiful!

Whilst I stand here like some prepubescent teenage boy

(with an image of your breast ingrained in my brain)

You ooze confidence you said

It leaves a trail of scent like perfume

You wear your sexuality like a coat; fasten with the buttons of experience

Your quirky, different, I love the way your mind thinks and how you speak

How you held your coffee cup tonight, need I go on? you said

You asked if would I kiss you or is that not permitted on first dates too

I didn’t need asking twice

And five years on, engaged here we are still very much in love

Infact the love has grown stronger over the years

And you still say I ooze sex appeal

You still love /want my straight up and down

You still enwrap in yourself in me

You still kiss my crooked nose when you awake in the mornings

and when you go to sleep at night

And me well I love every inch of you from your brain down to your toes

But secretly I will always worship your breasts

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

A moment in the moonlight

As the sun setsmoonlight

You take my hand

As we go beach walking on the sand

On a familiar path

To our Bay

There’s a garland of stars out tonight

As the moon reflects on the water

Like a mirror ball it illuminates the sea

We rest a while

And

With our hands now in my pockets

Your  fingers become entwined

With mine

We keep each other warm

And only the sound the sea makes surrounds us

You’re quiet

You’re thinking

Happy thoughts

I think?

With your head now perched on my shoulder

You kiss my cheek and say “ Thank you”

I reply what for “ For today? ”

“No for everything” you say

“For being you”

“For being there”

“For making me laugh”

“For your constant words of love”

“For your openness and honesty”

“For your patience”

List goes on

I turn to you

I tell you “I would have none of those things if it wasn’t for you”

Still we stand with hands remaining in my pockets

You kiss me again this time harder and as you do

Your tongue caress mine

As the sea caress the shore

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

A simple poem for a beautiful life

Watching you wakebeing loved

Sharing long kisses

And sweet embraces

Hours of wonderful conversations

Comfortable silences

Smiling

Laughter

Enjoying everything from

Mundane chores

To strolls in the park

Beach walking

As we walk hand in hand

Surprise photo text messages whilst I’m at work

With the words “I love you”

Sitting at cafe’s

People watching

Just knowing what you’re thinking

Snuggled on the sofa watching TV in the evening

Dancing at 3 in the morning

Listening to you as you read out loud

Bath times

Bedtimes

Holding you so tight next to me in the middle of the night

Making love with you

Being present as you fall asleep

A simple life

A beautiful life

Is what we have

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

Skin touching Skin

 

 


lesbian ml

 

Our gaze locked

The anticipation of skin touching skin 

My fingertips begin to trace your mouth

Then the  moment that starts from a kiss

The slow exploration of the softness of your lips

I feel the touch of your breath as I inhale you

The intensity builds as your tongues entwines with mine

Positions now altered  

I feel the warmth of your closeness as

you take my weight

my motion is slow

never rushed

my fingers , palm of my hands slowly begin to linger

and with every touch

I replace it with a kiss

you take my hand

With fingers entwined you guide me slowly down

slowly my fingers enter into hidden depths

soft, wet

It’s an open invitation to explore

You buck

Again with every touch I replace it with a kiss

But harder this time

You buck again

An orgasmic wave sends

Vibrations throughout your frame

 And I can feel the intensity tremble under me

It strikes you to your very core

Over, and over this occurs

Both satisfying each other’s hunger

Until both our cravings have been met

It ends as it began with a kiss

One last slow exploration of the softness of your lips

And bodies still wet

We lie en wrapped in other’s skin

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Stampede of words

panic attack 3There’s a stampede going on in my brain

Of words trying to get out, trying to get in

I feel them physically stacking up on each other

And my head is heavy from the weight

I think silence, isolation maybe sleep is needed 

For these words to be assembled into order

That makes some sense

I want to put the close sign up

But its hiding somewhere in my temporal lobe

Trapped between the words pain, anger, demon, depression

My power of speech is rendered impotent

And so the panic sets in

The parietal lobe is under siege

I so want to write HELP ME! MAKE IT GO AWAY!

The brain will not transpose the words through my fingers

So overloaded is my brain ,the words escape through my eyes

You sense this; you’ve seen the panic,

The fear in my eyes

The tears in my eyes

so many times

You hold me and calm me and

My frontal lobe begins to put things in order

And I feel the words just slip away

But one word remains, your name

Prominent,

A name that evokes so many memories of words like

Beauty, perfection, laughter, love, kisses, sex, lust, passion,

Kindness, caring, positivity,  but for a few

but for me one word stands out from the rest

whenever I think of you

that word will always, always be LOVE.

(I love you my Ms Joanna P x)

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

She who protects me

It’s three in the morningPANIC

And the darkness surrounds us

As you sleep

But I cannot sleep

I am fearful of the dark

I know they are coming

My mind is under siege

And I know I am not strong enough to withhold

The army of demons that is about to invade me

I can’t think straight

Should I take refuge within your arms (but I do not want to wake you)

Or do I run

I run

Into the cold and dark of open spaces

But it’s all too much

They are here whispering in the corners of the garden

They begin to taunt me

They laughter hurts my ears

I drop down to the floor as if to vanish in the ground

I lie there in foetal position

Silently weeping, shaking

Then you find me (you always find me)

You scoop me up

You sit me down

You wrap us both in a blanket

Dry my tears

Your voice soothes me

Shhh you say they’ve gone

There’s just you and me

You rock me and it calms me

You take me by the hand

And guide me towards upstairs

You lie me down

and cover me

Climb in beside me

Continuously you rock me

As I drift off to sleep

The darkness is bannished

No longer fearful

For you, my woman, wiser than her years

Always finds me

Rescue’s me

From the darkness of the night

And  the demons that taunt me

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Home

reaching-outTrust me she said as she smiled

And she held out her hand

All I could do was trust her the kindness of her smile

And the years of false promises were forgotten

Come in from the dark

She beckoned

And her beauty dazzled me

All I could see were the wonderous colours of

The gold of her hair and blue of her eyes

The negatives , the greys and blacks replaced

Come in from the cold she said

Her arms reached out and she guided me

And she led me into the shelter of her soul

All I could feel was the warmth of her love as she cradled me

And the numbness melted away

Come let me dry your eyes she whispered

As she held my head in her hands

As she kissed away my tears

All I could feel was love, it was a love so unconditional,

And all the pain held for so, so many years disappeared

I knew then I had found home

For she is my home

Her love are my foundations

Her smile lights my way

Her body is my bed

and her arms are my blanket

She is my shelter

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Two figures

Aloneworld

Two figures

Yours and mine

Lie

As our world waltz’s

Into the darkness of the night

And the brightness of the moons light projects

A shadow of a single silhouette on our wall

We are bound by love

Synchronised in movement

We are always in tune you and I

Both knowing how to please

How a thousand types of kisses can tease

As the caress of our hands waits in anticipation

The sensation of pleasure

Alone

Two figures

Yours and mine

Lie

As our world waltz’s

Into the brightness of the early morning sun

And we know the earth just didn’t move for us

It danced for both of us last night

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

This, you , us

BY THE WATER

I sit here just looking at you

And it crosses my mind briefly of how lucky I am

To have this, you, us

But it’s not meant to happen to people like me

I have too much broken mirrors of luck

For this to be real

And then my mind begins to wander, with now thoughts spiralling

I begin to doubt myself that this cannot be real

What if this all a dream,

What if my mind is tricking me into thinking that

All this, you, us is some bipolar vision

That really you are a figment of my wanting

to want this , want you, want us

then you move towards me

The real you, the dream you, the bipolar you

Momentarily I am unsure which one I can actually see

But then you come up behind me

Wrap your love around me

And with the warmth of your lips you kiss me

This spell is then lifted and I know now this is true

Because your kisses are truest kisses I have tasted

And your love is truest gift I have ever received

And I sit here now so content, so happy knowing

This, you, us is very real.

©Copyright 2013 by Mehefin Bolland.

May contain Rants

Shadows (For J x)

shadowThere have been  times in my life when all I had for company was my solitary shadow

Ever present, watching

(but detached)

Appearing only when sun shone

(but I didn’t even know the sun was shining)

And as the clouds emerge it too would be gone

(leaving me alone stood there in my solitary frame)

For days, months, and years this would occur

(it became my normality)

Then perchance you appeared, as the shadow did

(present, this time real)

Now whenever the sun shine’s

(and I now know the sun shines, it always shines now)

For all I see is two shadows,merged moving in unison

(for you will always be the blue skies on my cloudy days )

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

Counting

heart countingToday you made me smile seventeen times

Today you made me laugh out allowed more than a dozen times

Today you looked at me twice with that look of want in your eyes

Today you hugged me ten times

Today you told me you loved me three times

Today you kissed me  eleven times

But why do I count?

I count because every day I count my blessings for finding you , loving you and for you loving me 

more than once …

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

For everyday to be Saturday Morning

Bed-Tea-In-Early-MorningIf I could have one wish

It wouldn’t be for extravagant riches

It would be that every day would be Saturday morning

With us lying there in our bed

Just chatting and drinking tea

Whilst ours finger tips did some elaborate dance

Or perhaps we would just lie there wrapped in each other skin

Watching through our bedroom window

What mood the sky was in

But I know one thing

Whatever we did

I would be happy, content in the knowledge

I’ts alone time with you

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

In a halo of perfection

 

Sunlight Coming Through Lace Curtains

I love the way your hair falls on the pillow

I love to memorise every inch of you

To recall back on days and nights I may find myself apart from you

And as the sun’s rays peer through our curtains

And the morning light breaks the darkness of your silhouette

Their light illuminates every part of you

Until all I can see is my love, my life, my eternity

Lying there next to me in a halo of perfection

Whilst  I lie so close to you

so desperate to touch you

but knowing its too soon, you still need to heal

I resist the temptation,

Instead I am satsified  with the thousand hugs and kisses

you bestow on me a day

knowing is it only a matter of time

When we will again share our passion

So for now I will just lie here content watching you sleep

Lying there next to me in your halo of perfection

As the morning light breaks the darkness of your silhouette

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

All rights reserved

May contain Rants

No one but you

box lock

Take this thought and carry it with you always

my secret to no one but you

Take this sealed envelope and hide it in a secret place

it is my love letter to no one but you

Take this a box lined with velvet inside a  gift

inscribed with a message of affection to no one but you

Take my kisses and treasure them , they hold a thousand

songs I want to sing to no one but you

Take my body, every inch , every crease, and every impurity

it belongs to one but you

Take my soul when I die , carry it in your heart until we meet once more

because it will never belong to anyone else but you.

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved.

May contain Rants

Early Morning conversation

My phone beepstext

Half asleep I reach out, stumbling for my phone

3:45 in the morning, it’s a text message from you ,

Your message read “R U awake?  I can’t sleep

Ring me if U R! “

I ring you back

You answer Hi your awake! I can’t sleep,

Yes I abruptly replied” I gathered” (well it is 3:45 in the morning!)

You go onto tell me you liked my poem

You agree we really do need to talk .

We arrange a date for this Sunday, time yet unsure

Then we continue to chat  a little more

You tell me how you’ve not been sleeping and how your mind wanders

You then enlighten me that’s it’s 1 month, 2 weeks, 6 days since we last had sex

It’s right about then  that I’m feeling a bit vexed

and  I’m struggling to find a reason why I adore you , but I do!  (well it is 3:45 in the morning!)

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved.