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Linger…

If I was asked what is my favourite day would be
I have two I would reply
Saturday and Sunday
And it would be said without hesitation
For these are the days I like to wake before you
Just so I can watch you sleep a while
And wonder what you are dreaming
For there are all the days in between
when I have no time to linger
To take time to appreciate your beauty
So here I lie with my head on my pillow facing you
Trying not to move
As your arm is draped across my belly
I do not want to disturb you
So I lie perfectly still
Whilst I with photographic eye
I capture your image to hang in the darkroom of my mind
For those times when we are apart and you are working through the night
Sometimes you pretend to be sleep
Don’t think I don’t know
But the corners of your mouth begin to smile
Give the game away
Yet you allow me to take you all in
And when I am done
With your eyes still shut
You whisper in my ear
Morning
l says it back
And with eyes closed we lie face to face
Because on days like this we can linger
June Bolland © 2016

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Silhouettes are not required tonight …

Tonight I need your touch

I want to witness the love that stares

back at me

No pieces of shadows do I want to see

dancing on the wall in rhythmic formation

For silhouettes are not required tonight

Tonight I want our love to be surround by light 

Where the soft hue outlines your beauty

In all its wondrous sublimity

Tonight I want our love to be shared amidst

The dimmed lights

Copyright 2014 June Bolland

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Girls with no names…

I was never the settling down type

I didn’t buy the whole relationship thing

I didn’t believe in all the hype

I played the field

I kissed so many girls with no names

Broke so many hearts

to my shame

But non were ever good enough to last

And so quickly I moved on

Until there was you

 

Now I see myself growing old with you

As for the whole relationship thing

I’d say our matching rings say everything

Never again with there be anymore with no name

That was in the past

For your name is tattoo on my heart

I promise never to break your heart

Because I love only you

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Sex…

Sex
This is what I want to share with you
To have your naked body
Lie with mine
Mouth
Hands
Fingers
I need to feel your touch
To be skin on skin with you
Until our bodies lie entwined
All of you
I want to rediscover the parts of you
I have missed so much
To let my senses get high on you
Complete
And when we are both satisfied
Unware there is anything
other than the space we now occupy
I want us to lie there face to face
With our gaze locked
So to feel the emotional connection
Of the intimacy we have just shared
Copyright 2014 June Bolland

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Words are everywhere…

I carry words around with me in my head

And in the back pockets of my jeans

Words I’ve written of when I think about you

I have words on bits of paper hiding

in journals on the table at the side of our bed

I find words in the pockets of my jackets

In book I’m reading

And in books I have read

Words I’ve written whilst I’m at work

When I’m  day dreaming of you 

Random words that lie dormant

in the draws of my desk

Words full of such emotion

And expressions of deep rooted feeling’s

But there’s only one word

The truest word

That says what I will always feel about you

This word I carry in my heart

The word is LOVE

Copyright 2014 June Bolland

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Attraction …

I was never attracted to blondes until met her

to me they always seem to be blue eyed and too pale

They were just not what I looked for in a female

You see I had a type

All my other girlfriends  

were dark skinned coffee coloured eyed dykes

So what changed?

How do I begin to explain how the attraction

began to occur

To be honest it all a blur

It was 7 years ago

When she  literally turn up at my door

But one thing for sure

She’s caring and kind and her heart s so pure

And when she opens her mouth and speaks

Her accent makes me melt and go weak

I could listen to her all day

And yet despite her caring side

she feisty and wild

She made me see life from a different angel

she’s turned my world on its head

And it’s not just the passion she brought to our bed

It’s beyond that 

It’s the fact

 She believes in me

She see’s things in me other people don’t see

 So forget all the women I’ve loved in past

With their coffee eyes, black hair  

and dark skin I loved them individually

For reasons and for seasons

But they were never meant to last

Because with her you see

No one can hold a candle

 For I will love her for a thousand life times

Because being with her was met to be 

Copyright 2014 June Bolland

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Beneath a chandelier of stars…

tumblr_n06suqWh0n1rbz7uwo1_500

(image c/o http://flyingsaucer-eyes.tumblr.com/brightly wounded)

I’m folding clothes

Particles of sand fall

Onto the floor

Alone in the company of my thoughts

Zoetrope images flicker past my eyes

I drift off to that night

Smile

As I always do when I think of

You and the sea

To a time where we danced

Below a chandelier of stars

Just you and I

Where the rocks would be our orchestra

Wearing seaweed bow ties

I adore to dance with with you

T0 feel your touch

the rhythm of you

Desire builds

As the crescendo of waves

Laps over our feet

knocking us off balance

and

There we lie

with

The Orchestra

still playing in our ears

I adore to dance with you

T0 feel your touch

upon my skin

to feel the rhythm of you

Desire builds

As we lie

Beneath a chandelier of stars

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

I know this now…

There was a time I doubted her

I thought the years between us were too much

I doubted whether she’d understand

The complexities of my mind

So many thoughts of doubt I had

So I put obstacles

Of my baggage in her way

Pushed her away again and again and again

And hid behind my walls

But she never gave up

Because she loves me

I know I this now

She tells me age is just a number

That we meet somewhere in the middle

I know this now

For behind the Chanel and her jimmy Choo’s

Is the spirit of an old soul

Where as I am young at heart

She tells me she understands the definition of complexity

She’s tells me how she gorged on it and spewed it out

I know this now

She tells me she’s here to help carried the load I once called baggage

That  I no longer need to struggle with it alone

I know this now

She tells me I do not need to hide behind vast walls

For her arms are the only protection that I need

and so she pulls me in towards her  again and again and again

I know this now

And when on bended knee

I placed that ring on her finger

All the thoughts of doubt

I once had

All those foolish thoughts

Vanished in the breeze

Because she really does love me

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Conversations before bedtime…

pat stars

Our room illuminates light

Patterns from the lampshades

Shadows of stars project on the ceiling

With a backdrop from our window we see the cold dark night

Yet warmth radiates from beneath our covers

Desires lost to my mind, I had forgotten the feeling

The desires that only belongs to you I begin to rediscover

A conversation before bedtime

Of wanting, of love, of passion, are now translated

Through touch as fingertips begin to trace

Sublime

Of skin touching skin

Pupils dilated, entwined bodies lay naked

Heartbeats race

Rhythm to a dance only we two share begins

As shadows of our  love projects onto the ceiling

And there we dance amongst the shadowy stars

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Between the dusk and the dawn…

In the dark hours between dusk and dawn

When my thoughts are at their darkest

When dancing demons taunt me

When their voices tease my thoughts

You are my one constant vision of hope

You with your words of comfort

Yours are the lips that kiss the tears away

Yours are the hugs that banishes the lonely thoughts away

So in the dark hours between dusk and dawn

It’s you, only you that gets me through the night

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

3 am in the morning…

3 am in the morning

I find myself sitting by the window

Watching the stillness of the sea

Thoughts running around my head

My heads too busy to sleep

With pen in hand and a blank page laid before me

I look over to you sleeping

My inspiration

But I cannot write tonight

There are too many thoughts running

Around my head tonight

So sit and watch you for a while

You breathe in unison with the tides

Your stillness always calms me

It soothes me

Like the ocean does

It makes me feel safe

Slowly I drift off into a state of peace

5 am in the morning

I am awoken by your voice

“Its 5 am in the morning

You’re freezing

Come back to bed”

And safely you returned me to lie next you

Beneath the thick cotton cocoon

5:30 am in the morning

With the stillness of you wrapped around me

Thoughts no longer run around my head

Calm

Safe

We drift off back into a state of peace

Both breathing in unison with the tides as we do

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Let our minds run away…

stars

Let our minds run away

To a secluded place

Only you and I know

Where the ocean spray

Sweeps across our skin

Where our thoughts feel free

Let our minds

Dive into the waters

Caressed

Are our thoughts

As the ebb and flow

Carries them towards

The rivers of sin

Where they’d swim

Let our thoughts  

Later rest on the river bank

Let them lie

Side by side

Let them count stars

And acknowledge the fates

For merging our thoughts

Together as one

And in the morning

Feel the exultation

With the exchange of our kisses

Knowing that it wasn’t just our thoughts

That swam in the rivers of sin

Last night

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Reason to be…

driftwood

I am driftwood

Floating

On her

My ocean

She calms me

Between the ebb and flow

Submerged

I am anointed

By her love

I am an acorn

That falls to the ground

From her

My oak tree

Protected by her roots

I am grounded

She nurtures me

I am the child

On sunny days

Warmed by the touch

Of her

My Sun

She lifts my mood

She makes me want to dance
Barefoot and carefree

I am what I ever I want

To be

As she is my reason to be

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

My Muse

writing+poetryAttempt to understand  the truth  of all those words I have said in the cold light of the day

and for all the promises that  I have whispered , on  those dark moon filled nights

I have shared with you

They speak nothing but love for you

And for all the times I have layed bare my soul upon the page

see that every word, every sentence

They are nothing more than the lyrics of the songs from my heart

That sings only to you

My words are only for you

You are my listener, my reader and  my muse

©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

My Heart

care of heartThere’s fragility to my heart

Yours alone to handle

Yours alone control the rhythm of its beats

Yours alone to do what you wish

Love it

Care for it

Save it

Nuture it

Do as you wish

Just promise me you will try not to

Break it

Damage it

Or

Lose it

I give the fragility of my heart to you

It belongs to no one else but you

It is yours until the last beat stops beating

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Face to Face

the night is ours aloneFace to face

That first time

Hands barely touching

Fingers tips tingled at

Your slightest movement

Then THAT embrace

Eyes so blue

I found myself

Consciously fixed by your gaze

Not wanting to look away

Unlike I normal do

I don’t do the eye connect thing

But you

The first time I looked into your eyes

You transposed me into the deepest part of your soul

Into a vision of such beauty

A beauty I will never witness again

Or would want to.

Then there were you lips

The fullness of your pout

Exciting

Enticing

Then there was THAT kiss

That was five years ago

And now your touch still makes my fingertips tingle

And your kisses still entice me

But

Still  I don’t do the eye contact thing

With anyone but you.

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Time and Distance

luckyI watched you unpack

Your suitcase

I missed you I said

You stopped, smiled

Turned and kissed me on the cheek

And said I’ve missed you too

But I was only gone four days

The house was quiet without you

I said

Empty, tidy but colder

But in a funny way

I missed your mess

I’m glad your home

You turned wrapped

your hand in mine

Until you squeezed it tightly

And said I’m glad I’m home too

But I was only in Amsterdam

My minds been working overtime

Without you here to calm it

I said

You’ve been on my mind constantly

You let go of my hand and hugged me

and  said I thought of nothing but you too

But I told you it was only four days away in Amsterdam

I know I said its seems nothing

when you say like that

But in seconds it sounds so much worst

In my mind

You were  gone for

345600 seconds

and seemed so far away

 495 Kilometres away to be exact!

I told you my mind’s been

working over time

But I missed you

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

From Morning until dusk

mornThe morning is for us

From that first kiss that awakes

Me from my dreams about you

To smiling at you as lying next to me

The mid-morning and afternoons are full of thoughts of you

Mid-morning smoke breaks and texts from you

To counting down the hours til you get home

Lunchtime chats that end with I love you

The evening is always spent will you?

Catching up on the day’s events we’ve both been through

Listening to music, watching TV, me writing poetry and you bringing me tea

Evening full of laughter, and chatter

The dusk is for us

Filled with passion and the exquisite touch of you

Alone time, our time

And kisses we share to send us to our slumber

And as we lie face to face we both say goodnight

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Always,Then and Now

MEETING

Always

She’s beautiful, and yet she’s sees beauty in me I never even knew existed

She saw a future for the two of us, long before I could see

She gave me space and time

She remain strong, steadfast

She didn’t give up

She offered me truth, love and trust

Then

I learned to see myself through her eyes

I opened my mind to the possibilities of a future I could at last see, could at last feel

I needed the confinements of her arms

I stopped running, turned round to where she stood and saw beneath her beauty

I knew then what she offered me was real

I realised only she could show me the meaning of what truth, love and trust was

Now

We both see the beauty in everything we have

We now wear rings that plan for a commitment in the future

We both share a space in each other hearts, place that no one else can own

We both walk down the same road side by side

We both know that we offer each other a lifetime of truth, love and trust

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

On nights like this…

in bed

On nights

When neither of us is ready to sleep

We’ll lie face to face

And lose ourselves in conversation

Our fingertips

Will gentle dance over each other’s skin

And as we’d touched

We’d leave finger prints of passion

And the intensity would resonate

Throughout our frames until we would become

Entwined with an invisible thread of love

We would become one

And as we’d inhale each other’s breath

With the kisses we’d share

The night would disappear in time

And the dawn would break

And we would then  realise we never did sleep

Tonight has a feeling

That it is one of those nights

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

That Autumn evening

dress floWe met in the spring. You always can recall of how it was an instant connection, the thing we now know to be love. By late summer we had fallen in love. Sharing passionate kisses and lingering embraces. But never taking it further. We had to be sure that this was really something we wanted to pursue. You were 21 and I was 42, but yet the years in between melted away. You had never experienced real love, these feelings were so new to you and I was well still healing from her and then came that evening in early autumn…

Do remember I came round to see you

I think we were both aware what was about to take place that evening

It had been building for weeks, but now with minds free, mind set

We were ready to take to another level

I remember how beautiful you looked in that floral dress

And how nervous you were

You were trembling like the leaves blowing in the autumn winds

On the trees outside your window

I remember how inviting your lips were as you nervously spoke

I remember I pressed my finger to your lips and told you shh

And then I kissed you and you kissed me back

And how I began to unbutton your dress

And how you undid my belt

I remember taking off that floral dress

It was like the unveiling of statue of a Goddess

You were beautiful

My Venus

Then both together there alone equal in our nakedness

We laid together

God we were so nervous

And then it began with the sharing of kisses

And touching of faces, mouth, neck and breasts

We became relaxed

Emotions let free

Months of anticipation gone

That first connection

Was one of peaceful intimacy

Slowly, we explored each other

Pleasure should never be rushed

And slowly the intensity began to build

Until the moment of pure euphoria

Erupted between our thighs

Remember how we laid there after

Just staring into each other eyes

With still lingering fingers you traced my face

As I did yours

I remember when the evening was over

I  watched you putting back on your floral dress

Knowing that life would never be quite the same

For you and I

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Sex appeal!

your interesting and different.I remember our first date

Walking home with you

And your fingers found the spaces between mine

They locked, shut tight

As if you had caught me and

I knew there and then it was for keeps.

We stopped and lingered at your door

You said you wanted me, right there and then

I told you don’t! I didn’t put it out on first dates

I told you I wanted to get to know you just a little bit more

In fact it was 6 months and 3 days until I finally lay with you!

You told me I oozed sex appeal

I laughed nervously, a knee jerk reaction

No one had ever said that to me before

Say it again I asked you, so to make sure I wasn’t thinking it out loud

Because that how I felt about you too

But it was true you had said it and I replied but why what is that you see

That evades my vision.

I think went onto protest a little too much,

I am straight up and down, but you have the most wonderful breasts I exclaimed

(I had notice them once or twice during our night).

I have a crooked nose I inherited off my grandfather

How can you possibly say I ooze sex appeal?

When you stand there looking like a Goddess

You are beautiful!

Whilst I stand here like some prepubescent teenage boy

(with an image of your breast ingrained in my brain)

You ooze confidence you said

It leaves a trail of scent like perfume

You wear your sexuality like a coat; fasten with the buttons of experience

Your quirky, different, I love the way your mind thinks and how you speak

How you held your coffee cup tonight, need I go on? you said

You asked if would I kiss you or is that not permitted on first dates too

I didn’t need asking twice

And five years on, engaged here we are still very much in love

Infact the love has grown stronger over the years

And you still say I ooze sex appeal

You still love /want my straight up and down

You still enwrap in yourself in me

You still kiss my crooked nose when you awake in the mornings

and when you go to sleep at night

And me well I love every inch of you from your brain down to your toes

But secretly I will always worship your breasts

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

A moment in the moonlight

As the sun setsmoonlight

You take my hand

As we go beach walking on the sand

On a familiar path

To our Bay

There’s a garland of stars out tonight

As the moon reflects on the water

Like a mirror ball it illuminates the sea

We rest a while

And

With our hands now in my pockets

Your  fingers become entwined

With mine

We keep each other warm

And only the sound the sea makes surrounds us

You’re quiet

You’re thinking

Happy thoughts

I think?

With your head now perched on my shoulder

You kiss my cheek and say “ Thank you”

I reply what for “ For today? ”

“No for everything” you say

“For being you”

“For being there”

“For making me laugh”

“For your constant words of love”

“For your openness and honesty”

“For your patience”

List goes on

I turn to you

I tell you “I would have none of those things if it wasn’t for you”

Still we stand with hands remaining in my pockets

You kiss me again this time harder and as you do

Your tongue caress mine

As the sea caress the shore

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

A simple poem for a beautiful life

Watching you wakebeing loved

Sharing long kisses

And sweet embraces

Hours of wonderful conversations

Comfortable silences

Smiling

Laughter

Enjoying everything from

Mundane chores

To strolls in the park

Beach walking

As we walk hand in hand

Surprise photo text messages whilst I’m at work

With the words “I love you”

Sitting at cafe’s

People watching

Just knowing what you’re thinking

Snuggled on the sofa watching TV in the evening

Dancing at 3 in the morning

Listening to you as you read out loud

Bath times

Bedtimes

Holding you so tight next to me in the middle of the night

Making love with you

Being present as you fall asleep

A simple life

A beautiful life

Is what we have

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

The degrees of passion

lesbian passion

Initiation

It’s late and the world has closed its eyes             

But we’re wide awake

Knowing that sleep is far from our minds

I sit watching you

As you undress beside me

You’re holding your hair

With your back towards me

You say “unclasp me”

Your lingerie now tossed to the  floor

 

Invitation

The nakedness of your skin

Its softness

Its smoothness

and it’s aroma  

Is too hard to resist

I need no invitation

and so I begin bestowing intimate kisses

Exploration

You turn to face me

Your body straddled over mine

There is a longing in those

Blue eyes of yours

We linger

Gaze fixed

Lips locked

And then the  tease of your tongue

Is an open invitation to explore deep 

into hidden depths

Consummation

And the ritual begins

The weight of your body  

Of skin upon skin

We move in synchronised movement

Then that intimate touch

 As  fingers and hands wander

A slow gentle exploration of bodies  

And we tremble with what is to come

A hunger that needs to be fed   

Pulses throb

Heartbeats race as  

The warmth of our closeness

Pupils Dilated

The teasing of tongues

flicker  

between thighs

Our souls are awoken

Reunited once again

And our bodies explode

With the passion we have created 

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

May contain Rants

For J…

open heartShe who captured my heart

This woman who alone invades every corner of my being

She is my soul mate, my lover, my confidant, my muse

She is my guardian angel

Her love is constant and unbreakable

Her touch is calmness in itself

Her kisses are bound in truth

She possess a strength of heart and soul  so pure

Her wisdom is older than her years

She alone will save me from the dark abyss

I know because she saved me once before

I was lost and distant from this world

Isolated within my  empty shell

But she saw something in me that first time we met

Something in me, she’s says she will never forget

Something she nurtured, cared for , brought back to life

She said it was love.

She was right  and my love burst right out of my chest

I began bestowing  it on her, on life and on myself

The day I realised what she meant

So when there are no more shadows to hide behind

And I  am looking down that dark chasm

These are reasons I  know she’ll be there to save me once again

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Skin touching Skin

 

 


lesbian ml

 

Our gaze locked

The anticipation of skin touching skin 

My fingertips begin to trace your mouth

Then the  moment that starts from a kiss

The slow exploration of the softness of your lips

I feel the touch of your breath as I inhale you

The intensity builds as your tongues entwines with mine

Positions now altered  

I feel the warmth of your closeness as

you take my weight

my motion is slow

never rushed

my fingers , palm of my hands slowly begin to linger

and with every touch

I replace it with a kiss

you take my hand

With fingers entwined you guide me slowly down

slowly my fingers enter into hidden depths

soft, wet

It’s an open invitation to explore

You buck

Again with every touch I replace it with a kiss

But harder this time

You buck again

An orgasmic wave sends

Vibrations throughout your frame

 And I can feel the intensity tremble under me

It strikes you to your very core

Over, and over this occurs

Both satisfying each other’s hunger

Until both our cravings have been met

It ends as it began with a kiss

One last slow exploration of the softness of your lips

And bodies still wet

We lie en wrapped in other’s skin

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Stampede of words

panic attack 3There’s a stampede going on in my brain

Of words trying to get out, trying to get in

I feel them physically stacking up on each other

And my head is heavy from the weight

I think silence, isolation maybe sleep is needed 

For these words to be assembled into order

That makes some sense

I want to put the close sign up

But its hiding somewhere in my temporal lobe

Trapped between the words pain, anger, demon, depression

My power of speech is rendered impotent

And so the panic sets in

The parietal lobe is under siege

I so want to write HELP ME! MAKE IT GO AWAY!

The brain will not transpose the words through my fingers

So overloaded is my brain ,the words escape through my eyes

You sense this; you’ve seen the panic,

The fear in my eyes

The tears in my eyes

so many times

You hold me and calm me and

My frontal lobe begins to put things in order

And I feel the words just slip away

But one word remains, your name

Prominent,

A name that evokes so many memories of words like

Beauty, perfection, laughter, love, kisses, sex, lust, passion,

Kindness, caring, positivity,  but for a few

but for me one word stands out from the rest

whenever I think of you

that word will always, always be LOVE.

(I love you my Ms Joanna P x)

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

She who protects me

It’s three in the morningPANIC

And the darkness surrounds us

As you sleep

But I cannot sleep

I am fearful of the dark

I know they are coming

My mind is under siege

And I know I am not strong enough to withhold

The army of demons that is about to invade me

I can’t think straight

Should I take refuge within your arms (but I do not want to wake you)

Or do I run

I run

Into the cold and dark of open spaces

But it’s all too much

They are here whispering in the corners of the garden

They begin to taunt me

They laughter hurts my ears

I drop down to the floor as if to vanish in the ground

I lie there in foetal position

Silently weeping, shaking

Then you find me (you always find me)

You scoop me up

You sit me down

You wrap us both in a blanket

Dry my tears

Your voice soothes me

Shhh you say they’ve gone

There’s just you and me

You rock me and it calms me

You take me by the hand

And guide me towards upstairs

You lie me down

and cover me

Climb in beside me

Continuously you rock me

As I drift off to sleep

The darkness is bannished

No longer fearful

For you, my woman, wiser than her years

Always finds me

Rescue’s me

From the darkness of the night

And  the demons that taunt me

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

Home

reaching-outTrust me she said as she smiled

And she held out her hand

All I could do was trust her the kindness of her smile

And the years of false promises were forgotten

Come in from the dark

She beckoned

And her beauty dazzled me

All I could see were the wonderous colours of

The gold of her hair and blue of her eyes

The negatives , the greys and blacks replaced

Come in from the cold she said

Her arms reached out and she guided me

And she led me into the shelter of her soul

All I could feel was the warmth of her love as she cradled me

And the numbness melted away

Come let me dry your eyes she whispered

As she held my head in her hands

As she kissed away my tears

All I could feel was love, it was a love so unconditional,

And all the pain held for so, so many years disappeared

I knew then I had found home

For she is my home

Her love are my foundations

Her smile lights my way

Her body is my bed

and her arms are my blanket

She is my shelter

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland

May contain Rants

In a halo of perfection

 

Sunlight Coming Through Lace Curtains

I love the way your hair falls on the pillow

I love to memorise every inch of you

To recall back on days and nights I may find myself apart from you

And as the sun’s rays peer through our curtains

And the morning light breaks the darkness of your silhouette

Their light illuminates every part of you

Until all I can see is my love, my life, my eternity

Lying there next to me in a halo of perfection

Whilst  I lie so close to you

so desperate to touch you

but knowing its too soon, you still need to heal

I resist the temptation,

Instead I am satsified  with the thousand hugs and kisses

you bestow on me a day

knowing is it only a matter of time

When we will again share our passion

So for now I will just lie here content watching you sleep

Lying there next to me in your halo of perfection

As the morning light breaks the darkness of your silhouette

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

In the silence of happiness

midWe’re both wide awake

Its two maybe half two in the morning

Your arms round my waist

Head leaning on my shoulder

Your legs entwined with mine

You pull me in close into you

It’s a time we’re familiar with

It’s a time we have deep meaningful conversations

Sometimes often or not it’s a time for wants

And needs to be initiated

But not tonight

Tonight there is neither

Tonight there is a sense of contentment

In the silence of happiness

Lying here knowing that the past is a distant memory

never to be relived

And knowing that our future is beautiful adventure

waiting to be lived

But more than that

It’s knowing that you are well, you are safe

You are here, just here by my side

With your arms round my waist

Head leaning on my shoulder

Your legs entwined with mine

I feel blessed…

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

In the darkness that surrounds us

TRAIL CLOTHESThe darkness surrounds us

We arrive home

A night of anticipation

Greets us as

We close the door

I go outside to sit on the balcony

I was about to have a cigarette

But then I realise I  don’t  need one

I’m already intoxicated by you

I’m waiting for you to join me

You’re pouring the drinks

The lanterns on balcony are lit

You come and sit

You straddle me

You’re now sat facing me

There passion in our eyes

Let’s take this inside

The night has just begun

I unzip your dress

It falls to the floor

You begin to kiss the back of my neck

Whilst your tease the buttons open on my shirt

Your hands begin wander

Belt undone

You begin to undress me

As I caress you

Our shoes kicked off

Music is on low

We dance real slowly

From room to room

Until we reach the bedroom

The rest of our clothes are now strewn across the floor

We begin to explore

In the darkness that surrounds us

May contain Rants

Would you ?

marry me

It’s late but

I’m wide awake lying here

With memories of our weekend still fresh in my head

And with still the touch of you

Lingering on my skin

Your on my mind

Then random thoughts appear in my brain

I’m replaying a conversation

I so want to have with you

If I asked you to marry me

Would you say yes

But is it too soon

I know we said we were taking it slow

I’m thinking longish engagement

What do think?

I want to recite my vows to you

Let’s face it, were half way there

Sickness and health I think we’ve already covered

Oh and the forsaking to all others

Oh  the richer and for poorer

well you know I’d live in a hovel as long you were by my side

There’s only til death do us part

And you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you

But I want to make to official

I want the certificate to say

My heart belongs to only you

I want the t-shirt with the lettering WIFE

Emblazed on it

And an arrow pointing to you!

I want to share your last name

Always wanted a double barrelled name

I want to wear matching bands of platinum gold

With an inscription of our love

We can read when were old

I want church bells, sky writing and choirs

I want to celebrate my love for you

I want them to play “our song”

When I dance you around the floor

So if I ask you to marry me would you

Say yes?

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

My words are meaningless without you

SHELFmy words always come from my deepest places

my soul and my heart

random thoughts poured out upon the page

they are confessions of darker, loner times

they are the words of love I’ve shared with you

but really they have no meaning without you

they are just words of meaningless random

but you complete my words

you are my every capital letter

my commas, my colons, my full stops

my explanation marks, the ellipsis

my quotation marks

my open and closed brackets

but never my question marks

but most of all you are the kiss

at end of my words I only share with you

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

Today we have a tomorrow

We talked and talked
A serious conversation
ground rules set
and then the relief
the heartache lifted
we laughed and laughed
I don’t think we’ve laughed that much
in a long while
I’ve missed your laughter , your smile,
I’ve missed you
you asked how long  could I stay
I said “I am yours for the rest of the evening ”
I was sat on the balcony having a cigarette
I was watching you in the kitchen
God  you looked so beautiful
you came to join me
you came up behind me
wrapped your arms around my waist
you perched your chin on my shoulder
you embraced me with your love
we just stood there in silence
content with feel of each others skin
God I’ve missed you, missed this
then I sensed your posture changed
you spun me round
and looked at me
there was a worried look in your eye
“We’re going okay aren’t we, me and you” you asked me
“Of course we are” I replied
I cupped your face in my hands
I kissed you
God how I missed your kisses
I clasped your hands in mine
I told you there and then today we have a tomorrow
tomorrow we have a future
a future a life together
but tonight we have love to share
and  I led you inside
come on I said “Let me show
you  how I know  we are okay “…
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
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May contain Rants

Our Bed

bed aI counted today how many days it has been

since you shared our bed,

it’s sixteen

And yet I still cannot bring myself to invade your space

So I remain lying still here on my side

With back turned away from the void

Where your frame once laid

Naked, still and so beautiful

Our bed full of happy times, sensual times, contented times

Stressful times of when you were ill, which I try to forget

Our bed … our haven, our own Utopia, our paradise, our private place.

A place for late night passion and early morning chats and cups of tea

Bedtime reading and flirtatious teasing

A place we watched full moons and constellations

And the rising sun and changing seasons

A place where we begin the working day

And looked forward to weekend play

A place that now feels as lost as me

where I now lie

still here on my side

With back turned away from the void

Trying desperately not to cry

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

I was, You did, Were we?

a betI was naïve to the real you

I was blinded by your beauty

I was hungry for your touch

I was once so in love with you

I WAS

You did tarnish the image I had of you in the end

You did show me how ugly you became in the end

You did starve me of real affection in the end

You did give away the love you once had for me in the end

YOU DID

Were we?

Were we once?

Were we once so?

Were we once so in?

Were we once so in love?

WERE WE?

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

You are

youYou are the goodnight kiss that sends me to me to my slumber

I am lucky

You are the dawn chorus that gently wakes me from my dreams

I am lucky

You are the winter sun that keeps me warm on cold cold days

I am lucky

You are the anchor of my vessel you keep me

safe when storms would drown me

I am lucky

You are the constant star that guides me home (when I am lost)

I am lucky  to have you

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

Thoughts of an illicit kiss

kissI asked my brain to keep all

Its thoughts

Its desires

Its despair

To itself

It did not listen

It fills me with needs and curiosities

I do not want

It teases me with thoughts of you and it shouldn’t

It plans scenarios that cannot happen,

Of times I would have I would have once died

for just one illicit kiss from you

When I’m a sleep it makes me dream

That you are teasing my skin with your touch

I longed for you once upon a time when

Things in my life were full of lies

You thought I was happy when I was not

I spent years acting

out a secret love affair,

open relationships,

playing the field

one night stands

and then fantasies of you

But now I have finally found someone who I want to be

Faithful with

Commit with

Someone I want share my life with

I can’t have my brain sharing long forgotten thoughts,

But I still can’t help thinking what that illicit kiss would have been like

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

Standing back and surveying

web 1I need to stand  back and unravel myself  from this web

stand by review and survey

what  purpose it wants of me

 As all I see is that it plan is  for me to feed your ego

I need to re-hinge myself to everything that matters

to people who I  need as much as they want me

I have been reliving  loves of old

and a childhood  I’d would rather forget

but I know  that it is  part of the therapy

making me visit ‘old friends’

my baby is concerned

she says I’m troubled  

that at night  I toss and turn

I do not rest

she says her arms are not enough to contain

she cannot contain my thoughts

my baby says it needs rest

it’s wandering thoughts

are bringing me down

she is right

I do need stillness

I need to smell the cold

and taste the waves

To spend time alone with her

at our cove

To lose ourselves in moments of love

To share myself with no but her 

I just  need to return myself to the fold

Spend time with those I love

whilst  I leave you find some else to feed your ego’s

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

Mood v Libido

sex

I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me

But your libido says otherwise

You run a bath, you say it’s to relax me

But I hear you pottering about

Waiting to be asked to join me

But I don’t

Dried I climb into bed , you’re already sat

Waiting, pretending to read, book closed

You lean over to  kiss me,

I return it back but

You turn this into a  passionate kiss

Again I return it  but  that’s as far as I wanted  it to go

See I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me

But your libido says otherwise

You think I’m receptive because of that kiss

Next thing you’ve change your position you’ve straddle  me

You start to caress me ,

Hands on breasts

Kisses on my neck ,

Tongue  teasing nipples and my belly too

I know where it’s heading

So I usher you back up for more kisses

You’re trying to arouse me but none of it will work

See I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me

But your libido says otherwise

I feel your hand move towards the inside of my thigh

I allow you to play for a while

in the hope it sparks  life into me

I feel  you as you enter inside me,  I don’t resist

again I hope a release of endorphins

to break this spell

that has been unfortunately cast on me

cos I really do want to Fuck you , but  it isn’ t going to be tonight

I say I’m sorry next time I promise to make you my

‘Pillow Queen’

See I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me

But your libido says otherwise

You say it’s ok , that it your fault

you thought it might help

So there we lay spooned , I can feel your breasts in my back

You kiss my back and say

“ Just  wait and see tomorrow YOU will be fine”

You add your sweet dreams like you always do

Your arm around my belly and your fingers are entwined with mine

Suppressed  tears in my eyes , I’m angry with myself

and mad at you for being so bloody understanding

but then  secretly I am glad because

See I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me

and your libido thought otherwise

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

Breaking down and Breaking up

whyThe daily routine begins before seven

How Sunday in your arms remains a distant Heaven

Patiently waiting for the day to be done

and then in your arms I can run

and even though our time has had its troubles

making things stress and taut

I always find myself back in your

presence wanting to be caught

Will be the one that saves me from this tedium

for breaking down and breaking up is all we seem to do

How I long for a happy medium

to share myself with you.

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
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May contain Rants

Saturday evening rituals

j sexSaturday nights out with you are always bliss

A few hours away from the madding restraints of our world

But my favourite time is when we come home

alone in our room

you’re taking off your make up and were cleaning teeth and

getting ready for bed

I admit sometimes in the throws passion we don’t get this far

it’s usually a trail of discarded mess and the jumping of bones!

but there is a sensualness of preparing for what’s to come

I have obligatory glance at your nakedness as you climb into bed,

the foreplay begins, neck kisses, and gentle touches of skin on skin

you take my weight

you take my rhythm

you take my kisses

you take my touches

and my teasing tongue

but most of all

you take my love

I receive yours back in return

your fingertips caress parts of me that have ached  for your touch all week

you  journey on down with your teasing tongue between my thighs

I let out a sensual sigh

and when were both satisfied, complete

bodies still entwined

face to face, my fingertips in between your locks

I can’t  resist  but I touch your cheek

I catch your mouth with my thumb

both eyes still open you kiss it back,

Smile and say “Sweet dreams babe, goodnight.”

arms wrapped in each other

you snuggle in

I reply “Sweet dreams, night my sweet.”

smile and close my eyes

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
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May contain Rants

Weekend morning routine

bed

 

I was watching you sleep this morning

I couldn’t resist I had to touch your cheek

I caught your mouth with my thumb

One eye opened you kissed it back,

Smiled and said morning.

You didn’t linger, you took your pills

And then you’re up out  of bed

Under the t-shirt you’re struggling to put on

“Tea?” you ask ,I nod

Five minutes later you’re back with mugs

You scramble back into bed

You pass me mine whilst kissing

Me on the cheek

The heats gone from you

So you wrap your arms around my body,

Your feet wrapped in mine, you try to retrieve some heat

We lay there wrapped in each other chatting,

Stupid conversations ,

Wonderful conversations

It’s the same old routine just like it used to be,

Before we both got so stressed and parted for a while.

But all the time I’m thinking how lucky I am to have you

And shout out in my head

thank you, thank you,

she came back home

I look at you, you’re smiling,

looking out towards the window

I wonder if you are thinking  the same thing too.

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
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May contain Rants

In your presence

bus

The reason for this to me is still unknown

Do you not have the courage to tell me goodbye?

Why?

When did this hatred of me begin

This divide between us built like a wall

Taller and wider than the one – You remember they had in Berlin

Why?

Tell me why there is such a divide

As my feelings for  you will always remain

But just recently your treatment of me has been so inhumane

Why?

But I can tell you just want to throw me to the wayside

So I keep silent and sit here in your presence feeling so alone

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
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May contain Rants

The Fats

Imagine if you and I could fly back to that timefates

To witness that fixed point in the universe

When “The Fates”  whispers decided our destiny lay together

I wonder if it was as profound as that moment our eyes met and we knew, we  just knew

I wonder if it was as captivating as our first kiss, the first feeling of your lips, I still have the taste of you

I wonder if it had all that same intensity as we when

first  laid naked sharing  ourselves

I still can feel your touch on my skin,

the feeling is still the same every time I lie with you

I wonder if it felt as beautiful as the passion we feel

Every second

Every minute

Every hour

Every day

I wonder

Imagine if it did, what a magical,

wondrous sight that would be to behold

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
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