If I was asked what is my favourite day would be
I have two I would reply
Saturday and Sunday
And it would be said without hesitation
For these are the days I like to wake before you
Just so I can watch you sleep a while
And wonder what you are dreaming
For there are all the days in between
when I have no time to linger
To take time to appreciate your beauty
So here I lie with my head on my pillow facing you
Trying not to move
As your arm is draped across my belly
I do not want to disturb you
So I lie perfectly still
Whilst I with photographic eye
I capture your image to hang in the darkroom of my mind
For those times when we are apart and you are working through the night
Sometimes you pretend to be sleep
Don’t think I don’t know
But the corners of your mouth begin to smile
Give the game away
Yet you allow me to take you all in
And when I am done
With your eyes still shut
You whisper in my ear
Morning
l says it back
And with eyes closed we lie face to face
Because on days like this we can linger
June Bolland © 2016
Tag: lover
Silhouettes are not required tonight …
Tonight I need your touch
I want to witness the love that stares
back at me
No pieces of shadows do I want to see
dancing on the wall in rhythmic formation
For silhouettes are not required tonight
Tonight I want our love to be surround by light
Where the soft hue outlines your beauty
In all its wondrous sublimity
Tonight I want our love to be shared amidst
The dimmed lights
Copyright 2014 June Bolland
Your body is the verse…
Your body is the verse
To which I serenade
Under the moonlight skies
Your body is the verse
I adore
With its sweet melody
It rocks me
Your body is the verse
your tune
your humming
makes me want to dance to its rhythm
and join in the chorus and sing out loud
Your body is the verse
that holds me in my sleep
Copyright 2014 June Bolland
Horizontal Love…
Hands locked
Fingertips touch
Eyes stare gaze fixed
Parched lips kissed
Redundant hand I caress you
Wanting tongue I explore you
In horizontal love
Copyright 2014 June Bolland
Girls with no names…
I was never the settling down type
I didn’t buy the whole relationship thing
I didn’t believe in all the hype
I played the field
I kissed so many girls with no names
Broke so many hearts
to my shame
But non were ever good enough to last
And so quickly I moved on
Until there was you
Now I see myself growing old with you
As for the whole relationship thing
I’d say our matching rings say everything
Never again with there be anymore with no name
That was in the past
For your name is tattoo on my heart
I promise never to break your heart
Because I love only you
Sex…
Sex
This is what I want to share with you
To have your naked body
Lie with mine
Mouth
Hands
Fingers
I need to feel your touch
To be skin on skin with you
Until our bodies lie entwined
All of you
I want to rediscover the parts of you
I have missed so much
To let my senses get high on you
Complete
And when we are both satisfied
Unware there is anything
other than the space we now occupy
I want us to lie there face to face
With our gaze locked
So to feel the emotional connection
Of the intimacy we have just shared
Copyright 2014 June Bolland
Words are everywhere…
I carry words around with me in my head
And in the back pockets of my jeans
Words I’ve written of when I think about you
I have words on bits of paper hiding
in journals on the table at the side of our bed
I find words in the pockets of my jackets
In book I’m reading
And in books I have read
Words I’ve written whilst I’m at work
When I’m day dreaming of you
Random words that lie dormant
in the draws of my desk
Words full of such emotion
And expressions of deep rooted feeling’s
But there’s only one word
The truest word
That says what I will always feel about you
This word I carry in my heart
The word is LOVE
Copyright 2014 June Bolland
Attraction …
I was never attracted to blondes until met her
to me they always seem to be blue eyed and too pale
They were just not what I looked for in a female
You see I had a type
All my other girlfriends
were dark skinned coffee coloured eyed dykes
So what changed?
How do I begin to explain how the attraction
began to occur
To be honest it all a blur
It was 7 years ago
When she literally turn up at my door
But one thing for sure
She’s caring and kind and her heart s so pure
And when she opens her mouth and speaks
Her accent makes me melt and go weak
I could listen to her all day
And yet despite her caring side
she feisty and wild
She made me see life from a different angel
she’s turned my world on its head
And it’s not just the passion she brought to our bed
It’s beyond that
It’s the fact
She believes in me
She see’s things in me other people don’t see
So forget all the women I’ve loved in past
With their coffee eyes, black hair
and dark skin I loved them individually
For reasons and for seasons
But they were never meant to last
Because with her you see
No one can hold a candle
For I will love her for a thousand life times
Because being with her was met to be
Copyright 2014 June Bolland
Beneath a chandelier of stars…
(image c/o http://flyingsaucer-eyes.tumblr.com/brightly wounded)
I’m folding clothes
Particles of sand fall
Onto the floor
Alone in the company of my thoughts
Zoetrope images flicker past my eyes
I drift off to that night
Smile
As I always do when I think of
You and the sea
To a time where we danced
Below a chandelier of stars
Just you and I
Where the rocks would be our orchestra
Wearing seaweed bow ties
I adore to dance with with you
T0 feel your touch
the rhythm of you
Desire builds
As the crescendo of waves
Laps over our feet
knocking us off balance
and
There we lie
with
The Orchestra
still playing in our ears
I adore to dance with you
T0 feel your touch
upon my skin
to feel the rhythm of you
Desire builds
As we lie
Beneath a chandelier of stars
©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland
I know this now…
There was a time I doubted her
I thought the years between us were too much
I doubted whether she’d understand
The complexities of my mind
So many thoughts of doubt I had
So I put obstacles
Of my baggage in her way
Pushed her away again and again and again
And hid behind my walls
But she never gave up
Because she loves me
I know I this now
She tells me age is just a number
That we meet somewhere in the middle
I know this now
For behind the Chanel and her jimmy Choo’s
Is the spirit of an old soul
Where as I am young at heart
She tells me she understands the definition of complexity
She’s tells me how she gorged on it and spewed it out
I know this now
She tells me she’s here to help carried the load I once called baggage
That I no longer need to struggle with it alone
I know this now
She tells me I do not need to hide behind vast walls
For her arms are the only protection that I need
and so she pulls me in towards her again and again and again
I know this now
And when on bended knee
I placed that ring on her finger
All the thoughts of doubt
I once had
All those foolish thoughts
Vanished in the breeze
Because she really does love me
©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland
Conversations before bedtime…
Our room illuminates light
Patterns from the lampshades
Shadows of stars project on the ceiling
With a backdrop from our window we see the cold dark night
Yet warmth radiates from beneath our covers
Desires lost to my mind, I had forgotten the feeling
The desires that only belongs to you I begin to rediscover
A conversation before bedtime
Of wanting, of love, of passion, are now translated
Through touch as fingertips begin to trace
Sublime
Of skin touching skin
Pupils dilated, entwined bodies lay naked
Heartbeats race
Rhythm to a dance only we two share begins
As shadows of our love projects onto the ceiling
And there we dance amongst the shadowy stars
©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland
Between the dusk and the dawn…
In the dark hours between dusk and dawn
When my thoughts are at their darkest
When dancing demons taunt me
When their voices tease my thoughts
You are my one constant vision of hope
You with your words of comfort
Yours are the lips that kiss the tears away
Yours are the hugs that banishes the lonely thoughts away
So in the dark hours between dusk and dawn
It’s you, only you that gets me through the night
©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland
3 am in the morning…
3 am in the morning
I find myself sitting by the window
Watching the stillness of the sea
Thoughts running around my head
My heads too busy to sleep
With pen in hand and a blank page laid before me
I look over to you sleeping
My inspiration
But I cannot write tonight
There are too many thoughts running
Around my head tonight
So sit and watch you for a while
You breathe in unison with the tides
Your stillness always calms me
It soothes me
Like the ocean does
It makes me feel safe
Slowly I drift off into a state of peace
5 am in the morning
I am awoken by your voice
“Its 5 am in the morning
You’re freezing
Come back to bed”
And safely you returned me to lie next you
Beneath the thick cotton cocoon
5:30 am in the morning
With the stillness of you wrapped around me
Thoughts no longer run around my head
Calm
Safe
We drift off back into a state of peace
Both breathing in unison with the tides as we do
©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland
Let our minds run away…
Let our minds run away
To a secluded place
Only you and I know
Where the ocean spray
Sweeps across our skin
Where our thoughts feel free
Let our minds
Dive into the waters
Caressed
Are our thoughts
As the ebb and flow
Carries them towards
The rivers of sin
Where they’d swim
Let our thoughts
Later rest on the river bank
Let them lie
Side by side
Let them count stars
And acknowledge the fates
For merging our thoughts
Together as one
And in the morning
Feel the exultation
With the exchange of our kisses
Knowing that it wasn’t just our thoughts
That swam in the rivers of sin
Last night
©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland
Reason to be…
I am driftwood
Floating
On her
My ocean
She calms me
Between the ebb and flow
Submerged
I am anointed
By her love
I am an acorn
That falls to the ground
From her
My oak tree
Protected by her roots
I am grounded
She nurtures me
I am the child
On sunny days
Warmed by the touch
Of her
My Sun
She lifts my mood
She makes me want to dance
Barefoot and carefree
I am what I ever I want
To be
As she is my reason to be
©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland
My Muse
Attempt to understand the truth of all those words I have said in the cold light of the day
and for all the promises that I have whispered , on those dark moon filled nights
I have shared with you
They speak nothing but love for you
And for all the times I have layed bare my soul upon the page
see that every word, every sentence
They are nothing more than the lyrics of the songs from my heart
That sings only to you
My words are only for you
You are my listener, my reader and my muse
©Copyright 2014 by June Bolland
My Heart
There’s fragility to my heart
Yours alone to handle
Yours alone control the rhythm of its beats
Yours alone to do what you wish
Love it
Care for it
Save it
Nuture it
Do as you wish
Just promise me you will try not to
Break it
Damage it
Or
Lose it
I give the fragility of my heart to you
It belongs to no one else but you
It is yours until the last beat stops beating
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
Face to Face
Face to face
That first time
Hands barely touching
Fingers tips tingled at
Your slightest movement
Then THAT embrace
Eyes so blue
I found myself
Consciously fixed by your gaze
Not wanting to look away
Unlike I normal do
I don’t do the eye connect thing
But you
The first time I looked into your eyes
You transposed me into the deepest part of your soul
Into a vision of such beauty
A beauty I will never witness again
Or would want to.
Then there were you lips
The fullness of your pout
Exciting
Enticing
Then there was THAT kiss
That was five years ago
And now your touch still makes my fingertips tingle
And your kisses still entice me
But
Still I don’t do the eye contact thing
With anyone but you.
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
Time and Distance
I watched you unpack
Your suitcase
I missed you I said
You stopped, smiled
Turned and kissed me on the cheek
And said I’ve missed you too
But I was only gone four days
The house was quiet without you
I said
Empty, tidy but colder
But in a funny way
I missed your mess
I’m glad your home
You turned wrapped
your hand in mine
Until you squeezed it tightly
And said I’m glad I’m home too
But I was only in Amsterdam
My minds been working overtime
Without you here to calm it
I said
You’ve been on my mind constantly
You let go of my hand and hugged me
and said I thought of nothing but you too
But I told you it was only four days away in Amsterdam
I know I said its seems nothing
when you say like that
But in seconds it sounds so much worst
In my mind
You were gone for
345600 seconds
and seemed so far away
495 Kilometres away to be exact!
I told you my mind’s been
working over time
But I missed you
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
From Morning until dusk
The morning is for us
From that first kiss that awakes
Me from my dreams about you
To smiling at you as lying next to me
The mid-morning and afternoons are full of thoughts of you
Mid-morning smoke breaks and texts from you
To counting down the hours til you get home
Lunchtime chats that end with I love you
The evening is always spent will you?
Catching up on the day’s events we’ve both been through
Listening to music, watching TV, me writing poetry and you bringing me tea
Evening full of laughter, and chatter
The dusk is for us
Filled with passion and the exquisite touch of you
Alone time, our time
And kisses we share to send us to our slumber
And as we lie face to face we both say goodnight
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
Always,Then and Now
Always
She’s beautiful, and yet she’s sees beauty in me I never even knew existed
She saw a future for the two of us, long before I could see
She gave me space and time
She remain strong, steadfast
She didn’t give up
She offered me truth, love and trust
Then
I learned to see myself through her eyes
I opened my mind to the possibilities of a future I could at last see, could at last feel
I needed the confinements of her arms
I stopped running, turned round to where she stood and saw beneath her beauty
I knew then what she offered me was real
I realised only she could show me the meaning of what truth, love and trust was
Now
We both see the beauty in everything we have
We now wear rings that plan for a commitment in the future
We both share a space in each other hearts, place that no one else can own
We both walk down the same road side by side
We both know that we offer each other a lifetime of truth, love and trust
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
On nights like this…
On nights
When neither of us is ready to sleep
We’ll lie face to face
And lose ourselves in conversation
Our fingertips
Will gentle dance over each other’s skin
And as we’d touched
We’d leave finger prints of passion
And the intensity would resonate
Throughout our frames until we would become
Entwined with an invisible thread of love
We would become one
And as we’d inhale each other’s breath
With the kisses we’d share
The night would disappear in time
And the dawn would break
And we would then realise we never did sleep
Tonight has a feeling
That it is one of those nights
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
That Autumn evening
We met in the spring. You always can recall of how it was an instant connection, the thing we now know to be love. By late summer we had fallen in love. Sharing passionate kisses and lingering embraces. But never taking it further. We had to be sure that this was really something we wanted to pursue. You were 21 and I was 42, but yet the years in between melted away. You had never experienced real love, these feelings were so new to you and I was well still healing from her and then came that evening in early autumn…
Do remember I came round to see you
I think we were both aware what was about to take place that evening
It had been building for weeks, but now with minds free, mind set
We were ready to take to another level
I remember how beautiful you looked in that floral dress
And how nervous you were
You were trembling like the leaves blowing in the autumn winds
On the trees outside your window
I remember how inviting your lips were as you nervously spoke
I remember I pressed my finger to your lips and told you shh
And then I kissed you and you kissed me back
And how I began to unbutton your dress
And how you undid my belt
I remember taking off that floral dress
It was like the unveiling of statue of a Goddess
You were beautiful
My Venus
Then both together there alone equal in our nakedness
We laid together
God we were so nervous
And then it began with the sharing of kisses
And touching of faces, mouth, neck and breasts
We became relaxed
Emotions let free
Months of anticipation gone
That first connection
Was one of peaceful intimacy
Slowly, we explored each other
Pleasure should never be rushed
And slowly the intensity began to build
Until the moment of pure euphoria
Erupted between our thighs
Remember how we laid there after
Just staring into each other eyes
With still lingering fingers you traced my face
As I did yours
I remember when the evening was over
I watched you putting back on your floral dress
Knowing that life would never be quite the same
For you and I
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
Sex appeal!
I remember our first date
Walking home with you
And your fingers found the spaces between mine
They locked, shut tight
As if you had caught me and
I knew there and then it was for keeps.
We stopped and lingered at your door
You said you wanted me, right there and then
I told you don’t! I didn’t put it out on first dates
I told you I wanted to get to know you just a little bit more
In fact it was 6 months and 3 days until I finally lay with you!
You told me I oozed sex appeal
I laughed nervously, a knee jerk reaction
No one had ever said that to me before
Say it again I asked you, so to make sure I wasn’t thinking it out loud
Because that how I felt about you too
But it was true you had said it and I replied but why what is that you see
That evades my vision.
I think went onto protest a little too much,
I am straight up and down, but you have the most wonderful breasts I exclaimed
(I had notice them once or twice during our night).
I have a crooked nose I inherited off my grandfather
How can you possibly say I ooze sex appeal?
When you stand there looking like a Goddess
You are beautiful!
Whilst I stand here like some prepubescent teenage boy
(with an image of your breast ingrained in my brain)
You ooze confidence you said
It leaves a trail of scent like perfume
You wear your sexuality like a coat; fasten with the buttons of experience
Your quirky, different, I love the way your mind thinks and how you speak
How you held your coffee cup tonight, need I go on? you said
You asked if would I kiss you or is that not permitted on first dates too
I didn’t need asking twice
And five years on, engaged here we are still very much in love
Infact the love has grown stronger over the years
And you still say I ooze sex appeal
You still love /want my straight up and down
You still enwrap in yourself in me
You still kiss my crooked nose when you awake in the mornings
and when you go to sleep at night
And me well I love every inch of you from your brain down to your toes
But secretly I will always worship your breasts
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
A moment in the moonlight
As the sun sets
You take my hand
As we go beach walking on the sand
On a familiar path
To our Bay
There’s a garland of stars out tonight
As the moon reflects on the water
Like a mirror ball it illuminates the sea
We rest a while
And
With our hands now in my pockets
Your fingers become entwined
With mine
We keep each other warm
And only the sound the sea makes surrounds us
You’re quiet
You’re thinking
Happy thoughts
I think?
With your head now perched on my shoulder
You kiss my cheek and say “ Thank you”
I reply what for “ For today? ”
“No for everything” you say
“For being you”
“For being there”
“For making me laugh”
“For your constant words of love”
“For your openness and honesty”
“For your patience”
List goes on
I turn to you
I tell you “I would have none of those things if it wasn’t for you”
Still we stand with hands remaining in my pockets
You kiss me again this time harder and as you do
Your tongue caress mine
As the sea caress the shore
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
A simple poem for a beautiful life
Watching you wake
Sharing long kisses
And sweet embraces
Hours of wonderful conversations
Comfortable silences
Smiling
Laughter
Enjoying everything from
Mundane chores
To strolls in the park
Beach walking
As we walk hand in hand
Surprise photo text messages whilst I’m at work
With the words “I love you”
Sitting at cafe’s
People watching
Just knowing what you’re thinking
Snuggled on the sofa watching TV in the evening
Dancing at 3 in the morning
Listening to you as you read out loud
Bath times
Bedtimes
Holding you so tight next to me in the middle of the night
Making love with you
Being present as you fall asleep
A simple life
A beautiful life
Is what we have
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
The degrees of passion
Initiation
It’s late and the world has closed its eyes
But we’re wide awake
Knowing that sleep is far from our minds
I sit watching you
As you undress beside me
You’re holding your hair
With your back towards me
You say “unclasp me”
Your lingerie now tossed to the floor
Invitation
The nakedness of your skin
Its softness
Its smoothness
and it’s aroma
Is too hard to resist
I need no invitation
and so I begin bestowing intimate kisses
Exploration
You turn to face me
Your body straddled over mine
There is a longing in those
Blue eyes of yours
We linger
Gaze fixed
Lips locked
And then the tease of your tongue
Is an open invitation to explore deep
into hidden depths
Consummation
And the ritual begins
The weight of your body
Of skin upon skin
We move in synchronised movement
Then that intimate touch
As fingers and hands wander
A slow gentle exploration of bodies
And we tremble with what is to come
A hunger that needs to be fed
Pulses throb
Heartbeats race as
The warmth of our closeness
Pupils Dilated
The teasing of tongues
flicker
between thighs
Our souls are awoken
Reunited once again
And our bodies explode
With the passion we have created
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
For J…
She who captured my heart
This woman who alone invades every corner of my being
She is my soul mate, my lover, my confidant, my muse
She is my guardian angel
Her love is constant and unbreakable
Her touch is calmness in itself
Her kisses are bound in truth
She possess a strength of heart and soul so pure
Her wisdom is older than her years
She alone will save me from the dark abyss
I know because she saved me once before
I was lost and distant from this world
Isolated within my empty shell
But she saw something in me that first time we met
Something in me, she’s says she will never forget
Something she nurtured, cared for , brought back to life
She said it was love.
She was right and my love burst right out of my chest
I began bestowing it on her, on life and on myself
The day I realised what she meant
So when there are no more shadows to hide behind
And I am looking down that dark chasm
These are reasons I know she’ll be there to save me once again
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
Skin touching Skin
Our gaze locked
The anticipation of skin touching skin
My fingertips begin to trace your mouth
Then the moment that starts from a kiss
The slow exploration of the softness of your lips
I feel the touch of your breath as I inhale you
The intensity builds as your tongues entwines with mine
Positions now altered
I feel the warmth of your closeness as
you take my weight
my motion is slow
never rushed
my fingers , palm of my hands slowly begin to linger
and with every touch
I replace it with a kiss
you take my hand
With fingers entwined you guide me slowly down
slowly my fingers enter into hidden depths
soft, wet
It’s an open invitation to explore
You buck
Again with every touch I replace it with a kiss
But harder this time
You buck again
An orgasmic wave sends
Vibrations throughout your frame
And I can feel the intensity tremble under me
It strikes you to your very core
Over, and over this occurs
Both satisfying each other’s hunger
Until both our cravings have been met
It ends as it began with a kiss
One last slow exploration of the softness of your lips
And bodies still wet
We lie en wrapped in other’s skin
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
Stampede of words
There’s a stampede going on in my brain
Of words trying to get out, trying to get in
I feel them physically stacking up on each other
And my head is heavy from the weight
I think silence, isolation maybe sleep is needed
For these words to be assembled into order
That makes some sense
I want to put the close sign up
But its hiding somewhere in my temporal lobe
Trapped between the words pain, anger, demon, depression
My power of speech is rendered impotent
And so the panic sets in
The parietal lobe is under siege
I so want to write HELP ME! MAKE IT GO AWAY!
The brain will not transpose the words through my fingers
So overloaded is my brain ,the words escape through my eyes
You sense this; you’ve seen the panic,
The fear in my eyes
The tears in my eyes
so many times
You hold me and calm me and
My frontal lobe begins to put things in order
And I feel the words just slip away
But one word remains, your name
Prominent,
A name that evokes so many memories of words like
Beauty, perfection, laughter, love, kisses, sex, lust, passion,
Kindness, caring, positivity, but for a few
but for me one word stands out from the rest
whenever I think of you
that word will always, always be LOVE.
(I love you my Ms Joanna P x)
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
She who protects me
It’s three in the morning
And the darkness surrounds us
As you sleep
But I cannot sleep
I am fearful of the dark
I know they are coming
My mind is under siege
And I know I am not strong enough to withhold
The army of demons that is about to invade me
I can’t think straight
Should I take refuge within your arms (but I do not want to wake you)
Or do I run
I run
Into the cold and dark of open spaces
But it’s all too much
They are here whispering in the corners of the garden
They begin to taunt me
They laughter hurts my ears
I drop down to the floor as if to vanish in the ground
I lie there in foetal position
Silently weeping, shaking
Then you find me (you always find me)
You scoop me up
You sit me down
You wrap us both in a blanket
Dry my tears
Your voice soothes me
Shhh you say they’ve gone
There’s just you and me
You rock me and it calms me
You take me by the hand
And guide me towards upstairs
You lie me down
and cover me
Climb in beside me
Continuously you rock me
As I drift off to sleep
The darkness is bannished
No longer fearful
For you, my woman, wiser than her years
Always finds me
Rescue’s me
From the darkness of the night
And the demons that taunt me
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
Home
Trust me she said as she smiled
And she held out her hand
All I could do was trust her the kindness of her smile
And the years of false promises were forgotten
Come in from the dark
She beckoned
And her beauty dazzled me
All I could see were the wonderous colours of
The gold of her hair and blue of her eyes
The negatives , the greys and blacks replaced
Come in from the cold she said
Her arms reached out and she guided me
And she led me into the shelter of her soul
All I could feel was the warmth of her love as she cradled me
And the numbness melted away
Come let me dry your eyes she whispered
As she held my head in her hands
As she kissed away my tears
All I could feel was love, it was a love so unconditional,
And all the pain held for so, so many years disappeared
I knew then I had found home
For she is my home
Her love are my foundations
Her smile lights my way
Her body is my bed
and her arms are my blanket
She is my shelter
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland
In a halo of perfection
I love the way your hair falls on the pillow
I love to memorise every inch of you
To recall back on days and nights I may find myself apart from you
And as the sun’s rays peer through our curtains
And the morning light breaks the darkness of your silhouette
Their light illuminates every part of you
Until all I can see is my love, my life, my eternity
Lying there next to me in a halo of perfection
Whilst I lie so close to you
so desperate to touch you
but knowing its too soon, you still need to heal
I resist the temptation,
Instead I am satsified with the thousand hugs and kisses
you bestow on me a day
knowing is it only a matter of time
When we will again share our passion
So for now I will just lie here content watching you sleep
Lying there next to me in your halo of perfection
As the morning light breaks the darkness of your silhouette
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
In the silence of happiness
We’re both wide awake
Its two maybe half two in the morning
Your arms round my waist
Head leaning on my shoulder
Your legs entwined with mine
You pull me in close into you
It’s a time we’re familiar with
It’s a time we have deep meaningful conversations
Sometimes often or not it’s a time for wants
And needs to be initiated
But not tonight
Tonight there is neither
Tonight there is a sense of contentment
In the silence of happiness
Lying here knowing that the past is a distant memory
never to be relived
And knowing that our future is beautiful adventure
waiting to be lived
But more than that
It’s knowing that you are well, you are safe
You are here, just here by my side
With your arms round my waist
Head leaning on my shoulder
Your legs entwined with mine
I feel blessed…
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
In the darkness that surrounds us
The darkness surrounds us
We arrive home
A night of anticipation
Greets us as
We close the door
I go outside to sit on the balcony
I was about to have a cigarette
But then I realise I don’t need one
I’m already intoxicated by you
I’m waiting for you to join me
You’re pouring the drinks
The lanterns on balcony are lit
You come and sit
You straddle me
You’re now sat facing me
There passion in our eyes
Let’s take this inside
The night has just begun
I unzip your dress
It falls to the floor
You begin to kiss the back of my neck
Whilst your tease the buttons open on my shirt
Your hands begin wander
Belt undone
You begin to undress me
As I caress you
Our shoes kicked off
Music is on low
We dance real slowly
From room to room
Until we reach the bedroom
The rest of our clothes are now strewn across the floor
We begin to explore
In the darkness that surrounds us
Would you ?
It’s late but
I’m wide awake lying here
With memories of our weekend still fresh in my head
And with still the touch of you
Lingering on my skin
Your on my mind
Then random thoughts appear in my brain
I’m replaying a conversation
I so want to have with you
If I asked you to marry me
Would you say yes
But is it too soon
I know we said we were taking it slow
I’m thinking longish engagement
What do think?
I want to recite my vows to you
Let’s face it, were half way there
Sickness and health I think we’ve already covered
Oh and the forsaking to all others
Oh the richer and for poorer
well you know I’d live in a hovel as long you were by my side
There’s only til death do us part
And you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you
But I want to make to official
I want the certificate to say
My heart belongs to only you
I want the t-shirt with the lettering WIFE
Emblazed on it
And an arrow pointing to you!
I want to share your last name
Always wanted a double barrelled name
I want to wear matching bands of platinum gold
With an inscription of our love
We can read when were old
I want church bells, sky writing and choirs
I want to celebrate my love for you
I want them to play “our song”
When I dance you around the floor
So if I ask you to marry me would you
Say yes?
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
My words are meaningless without you
my words always come from my deepest places
my soul and my heart
random thoughts poured out upon the page
they are confessions of darker, loner times
they are the words of love I’ve shared with you
but really they have no meaning without you
they are just words of meaningless random
but you complete my words
you are my every capital letter
my commas, my colons, my full stops
my explanation marks, the ellipsis
my quotation marks
my open and closed brackets
but never my question marks
but most of all you are the kiss
at end of my words I only share with you
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
The night is ours alone
(For Jo x )
The night
You, me
Sunset, sunrises
and all the hours
in between belong to only us
We are alone
expect for the company
of unconditional love
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
Today we have a tomorrow
We talked and talked
A serious conversation
ground rules set
and then the relief
the heartache lifted
we laughed and laughed
I don’t think we’ve laughed that much
in a long while
I’ve missed your laughter , your smile,
I’ve missed you
you asked how long could I stay
I said “I am yours for the rest of the evening ”
I was sat on the balcony having a cigarette
I was watching you in the kitchen
God you looked so beautiful
you came to join me
you came up behind me
wrapped your arms around my waist
you perched your chin on my shoulder
you embraced me with your love
we just stood there in silence
content with feel of each others skin
God I’ve missed you, missed this
then I sensed your posture changed
you spun me round
and looked at me
there was a worried look in your eye
“We’re going okay aren’t we, me and you” you asked me
“Of course we are” I replied
I cupped your face in my hands
I kissed you
God how I missed your kisses
I clasped your hands in mine
I told you there and then today we have a tomorrow
tomorrow we have a future
a future a life together
but tonight we have love to share
and I led you inside
come on I said “Let me show
you how I know we are okay “…
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
Our Bed
I counted today how many days it has been
since you shared our bed,
it’s sixteen
And yet I still cannot bring myself to invade your space
So I remain lying still here on my side
With back turned away from the void
Where your frame once laid
Naked, still and so beautiful
Our bed full of happy times, sensual times, contented times
Stressful times of when you were ill, which I try to forget
Our bed … our haven, our own Utopia, our paradise, our private place.
A place for late night passion and early morning chats and cups of tea
Bedtime reading and flirtatious teasing
A place we watched full moons and constellations
And the rising sun and changing seasons
A place where we begin the working day
And looked forward to weekend play
A place that now feels as lost as me
where I now lie
still here on my side
With back turned away from the void
Trying desperately not to cry
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
I was, You did, Were we?
I was naïve to the real you
I was blinded by your beauty
I was hungry for your touch
I was once so in love with you
I WAS
You did tarnish the image I had of you in the end
You did show me how ugly you became in the end
You did starve me of real affection in the end
You did give away the love you once had for me in the end
YOU DID
Were we?
Were we once?
Were we once so?
Were we once so in?
Were we once so in love?
WERE WE?
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
You are
You are the goodnight kiss that sends me to me to my slumber
I am lucky
You are the dawn chorus that gently wakes me from my dreams
I am lucky
You are the winter sun that keeps me warm on cold cold days
I am lucky
You are the anchor of my vessel you keep me
safe when storms would drown me
I am lucky
You are the constant star that guides me home (when I am lost)
I am lucky to have you
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
Thoughts of an illicit kiss
I asked my brain to keep all
Its thoughts
Its desires
Its despair
To itself
It did not listen
It fills me with needs and curiosities
I do not want
It teases me with thoughts of you and it shouldn’t
It plans scenarios that cannot happen,
Of times I would have I would have once died
for just one illicit kiss from you
When I’m a sleep it makes me dream
That you are teasing my skin with your touch
I longed for you once upon a time when
Things in my life were full of lies
You thought I was happy when I was not
I spent years acting
out a secret love affair,
open relationships,
playing the field
one night stands
and then fantasies of you
But now I have finally found someone who I want to be
Faithful with
Commit with
Someone I want share my life with
I can’t have my brain sharing long forgotten thoughts,
But I still can’t help thinking what that illicit kiss would have been like
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
Standing back and surveying
I need to stand back and unravel myself from this web
stand by review and survey
what purpose it wants of me
As all I see is that it plan is for me to feed your ego
I need to re-hinge myself to everything that matters
to people who I need as much as they want me
I have been reliving loves of old
and a childhood I’d would rather forget
but I know that it is part of the therapy
making me visit ‘old friends’
my baby is concerned
she says I’m troubled
that at night I toss and turn
I do not rest
she says her arms are not enough to contain
she cannot contain my thoughts
my baby says it needs rest
it’s wandering thoughts
are bringing me down
she is right
I do need stillness
I need to smell the cold
and taste the waves
To spend time alone with her
at our cove
To lose ourselves in moments of love
To share myself with no but her
I just need to return myself to the fold
Spend time with those I love
whilst I leave you find some else to feed your ego’s
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
Mood v Libido
I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me
But your libido says otherwise
You run a bath, you say it’s to relax me
But I hear you pottering about
Waiting to be asked to join me
But I don’t
Dried I climb into bed , you’re already sat
Waiting, pretending to read, book closed
You lean over to kiss me,
I return it back but
You turn this into a passionate kiss
Again I return it but that’s as far as I wanted it to go
See I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me
But your libido says otherwise
You think I’m receptive because of that kiss
Next thing you’ve change your position you’ve straddle me
You start to caress me ,
Hands on breasts
Kisses on my neck ,
Tongue teasing nipples and my belly too
I know where it’s heading
So I usher you back up for more kisses
You’re trying to arouse me but none of it will work
See I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me
But your libido says otherwise
I feel your hand move towards the inside of my thigh
I allow you to play for a while
in the hope it sparks life into me
I feel you as you enter inside me, I don’t resist
again I hope a release of endorphins
to break this spell
that has been unfortunately cast on me
cos I really do want to Fuck you , but it isn’ t going to be tonight
I say I’m sorry next time I promise to make you my
‘Pillow Queen’
See I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me
But your libido says otherwise
You say it’s ok , that it your fault
you thought it might help
So there we lay spooned , I can feel your breasts in my back
You kiss my back and say
“ Just wait and see tomorrow YOU will be fine”
You add your sweet dreams like you always do
Your arm around my belly and your fingers are entwined with mine
Suppressed tears in my eyes , I’m angry with myself
and mad at you for being so bloody understanding
but then secretly I am glad because
See I’m not in the mood or the mood is not in me
and your libido thought otherwise
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
Breaking down and Breaking up
The daily routine begins before seven
How Sunday in your arms remains a distant Heaven
Patiently waiting for the day to be done
and then in your arms I can run
and even though our time has had its troubles
making things stress and taut
I always find myself back in your
presence wanting to be caught
Will be the one that saves me from this tedium
for breaking down and breaking up is all we seem to do
How I long for a happy medium
to share myself with you.
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
Saturday evening rituals
Saturday nights out with you are always bliss
A few hours away from the madding restraints of our world
But my favourite time is when we come home
alone in our room
you’re taking off your make up and were cleaning teeth and
getting ready for bed
I admit sometimes in the throws passion we don’t get this far
it’s usually a trail of discarded mess and the jumping of bones!
but there is a sensualness of preparing for what’s to come
I have obligatory glance at your nakedness as you climb into bed,
the foreplay begins, neck kisses, and gentle touches of skin on skin
you take my weight
you take my rhythm
you take my kisses
you take my touches
and my teasing tongue
but most of all
you take my love
I receive yours back in return
your fingertips caress parts of me that have ached for your touch all week
you journey on down with your teasing tongue between my thighs
I let out a sensual sigh
and when were both satisfied, complete
bodies still entwined
face to face, my fingertips in between your locks
I can’t resist but I touch your cheek
I catch your mouth with my thumb
both eyes still open you kiss it back,
Smile and say “Sweet dreams babe, goodnight.”
arms wrapped in each other
you snuggle in
I reply “Sweet dreams, night my sweet.”
smile and close my eyes
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
Weekend morning routine
I was watching you sleep this morning
I couldn’t resist I had to touch your cheek
I caught your mouth with my thumb
One eye opened you kissed it back,
Smiled and said morning.
You didn’t linger, you took your pills
And then you’re up out of bed
Under the t-shirt you’re struggling to put on
“Tea?” you ask ,I nod
Five minutes later you’re back with mugs
You scramble back into bed
You pass me mine whilst kissing
Me on the cheek
The heats gone from you
So you wrap your arms around my body,
Your feet wrapped in mine, you try to retrieve some heat
We lay there wrapped in each other chatting,
Stupid conversations ,
Wonderful conversations
It’s the same old routine just like it used to be,
Before we both got so stressed and parted for a while.
But all the time I’m thinking how lucky I am to have you
And shout out in my head
thank you, thank you,
she came back home
I look at you, you’re smiling,
looking out towards the window
I wonder if you are thinking the same thing too.
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
In your presence
The reason for this to me is still unknown
Do you not have the courage to tell me goodbye?
Why?
When did this hatred of me begin
This divide between us built like a wall
Taller and wider than the one – You remember they had in Berlin
Why?
Tell me why there is such a divide
As my feelings for you will always remain
But just recently your treatment of me has been so inhumane
Why?
But I can tell you just want to throw me to the wayside
So I keep silent and sit here in your presence feeling so alone
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
The Fats
Imagine if you and I could fly back to that time
To witness that fixed point in the universe
When “The Fates” whispers decided our destiny lay together
I wonder if it was as profound as that moment our eyes met and we knew, we just knew
I wonder if it was as captivating as our first kiss, the first feeling of your lips, I still have the taste of you
I wonder if it had all that same intensity as we when
first laid naked sharing ourselves
I still can feel your touch on my skin,
the feeling is still the same every time I lie with you
I wonder if it felt as beautiful as the passion we feel
Every second
Every minute
Every hour
Every day
I wonder
Imagine if it did, what a magical,
wondrous sight that would be to behold
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved
