May contain Rants

Blue eyes…

I’m readjusting to the silence
instead of conversing with you
I’m relying on one way conversations that now resonate in my brain
I’m recollecting the reasons why I fell in love with you
Maybe it had something to do with fact your eyes were an incredible blue
Maybe the colour attracted me
As I was familiar with the colour blue
The blue of my bipolar
But then I realised your eyes were not an ice cold blue
Like the thousand tears I cried before I met you
There was a warmth to them
they reminded me of the colour of the ocean
they invited me in
That day I fell in love with you
but loving someone with bipolar is a difficult thing to do ,
But for you falling in love with me was never going to be easy
there were minutes, hours, days, weeks, and even months
when I inexcusable hurt you and just pushed you away
But there were so many beautiful times when I drew you close into me
These are the times I’ll shall recollect
For no one in my past or in my future will ever compare to you
For you will always be my special
one with your eyes so blue
Copyright June Bolland 2015

May contain Rants

The right decision?…

Clouds of doubt
Over shadow my mind
Of how I miss the little things we use to do
I miss keeping your hand warm in my pocket on cold winter days 
I miss waking to the now void that was once occupied by you
I miss driving you to work and waving you off
I miss our  morning chats before the sun was barely up in the sky
But most of all I miss  the softness of your skin
All the things we (I) took for granted
It hurts to think I’ll no longer share these things  with you
I sometimes wonder
Did we make the right decision
To allow this illness that renders
my mind Incapable of logical thought
and allows it to  continually push you away (now forever)
We should have fought harder you and I (for our love)
For we were (are) two people still very much  in love ( you and I cannot deny the facts)
But life has a habit of getting in the way
It saddens me we are so near ,just living  3 miles apart , but you feel so far away that I know we both feel  alone and lost

May contain Rants

The White Box

buddha

I didn’t throw your memory away

I keep  it in my head and within my heart

I kept some thing’s and tidily put them away

in a white box with Buddha sitting on the top

Things you held, things you wore and things that still have your smell are in

the white box with Buddha sitting on the top

Silly really I kept these  things in case you came back

But I have now come to realise this will never be the case

You will never hold those things or wear those clothes that I kept for you

in the white box with Buddha sitting on the top.

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved.

May contain Rants

Old friends chatting…

couple cloud sitting( for David 06/03/1962- 08/02/2002 – forever loved and always missed)

 

Its been 19 months since we were last in tune

We sat and skirted around varied  subjects

The usual chatter of old friends on a sunny afternoon

Then in an instant the conversations ceased

Like the stopping of the hands on the old timepiece

No more conversations were to be shared

All that was left was my despair

As I write this I know you are looking over my shoulder

And I feel the air become a little colder

I wished I had spoken of how much you meant

Instead of discussing the amount of Euro’s you had spent

So here now I will write of how beautiful and loved you are

And how not one day goes by without a

thought for you

And how life without you is just too bizarre

I wipe away the tears

As I think of all those lost years

of how when we were young we’d dreamed

of sharing our life

And of how one day I would become your wife

But now the weekend arrives and I bring you flowers

Again my tears begin to overpower

The only way I seem to get by and cope

Is to pray and live in hope

That one day we will again be in tune

And will be forever together sitting

on a cloud watching old friends

chatting on  sunny afternoons

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved.

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