Words are everywhere…

25/09/201423/06/2017 FinLeave a comment

I carry words around with me in my head

And in the back pockets of my jeans

Words I’ve written of when I think about you

I have words on bits of paper hiding

in journals on the table at the side of our bed

I find words in the pockets of my jackets

In book I’m reading

And in books I have read

Words I’ve written whilst I’m at work

When I’m day dreaming of you

Random words that lie dormant

in the draws of my desk

Words full of such emotion

And expressions of deep rooted feeling’s

But there’s only one word

The truest word

That says what I will always feel about you

This word I carry in my heart

The word is LOVE

Desires of wanting you …

23/09/201427/06/2017 FinLeave a comment

Let’s touch base

Let’s discuss things face to face

Let me outline the facts

And tell you where my head is at

Babe I cannot lie

I cannot resist you for

very much longer

The urge to kiss you

is getting stronger

I miss your touch

I miss the softness of your skin

I miss your sweet sighs so much

But I know

We agreed to take things slow

But the desires of wanting you lying

next to me in our bed

Invade the thoughts in my head

But please don’t think

I want to rush you

It’s just every day

you’re not here

I miss you more

It’s because it’s you I adore

So please consider

what I have said

May contain Rants · Uncategorized

Attraction …

22/09/201402/05/2017 Fin2 Comments

I was never attracted to blondes until met her

to me they always seem to be blue eyed and too pale

They were just not what I looked for in a female

You see I had a type

All my other girlfriends

were dark skinned coffee coloured eyed dykes

So what changed?

How do I begin to explain how the attraction

began to occur

To be honest it all a blur

It was 7 years ago

When she literally turn up at my door

But one thing for sure

She’s caring and kind and her heart s so pure

And when she opens her mouth and speaks

Her accent makes me melt and go weak

I could listen to her all day

And yet despite her caring side

she feisty and wild

She made me see life from a different angel

she’s turned my world on its head

And it’s not just the passion she brought to our bed

It’s beyond that

It’s the fact

She believes in me

She see’s things in me other people don’t see

So forget all the women I’ve loved in past

With their coffee eyes, black hair

and dark skin I loved them individually

For reasons and for seasons

But they were never meant to last

Because with her you see

No one can hold a candle

For I will love her for a thousand life times

Because being with her was met to be

May contain Rants · Uncategorized

Love letter…

22/09/201429/08/2015 FinLeave a comment

I’m trying to write a love letter

If I’m being honest

I started off quite well

I’ve managed to write down her name

“Dear J”

But then the nib of my pen

became frozen to the page

And so did the thoughts in my brain

I’m trying to express the way I feel

But my head is full of facts it doesn’t

Know where it’s at

So many questions and answers

Of my desires of wanting her

And how I’ve missed her touch

And how I long for her kisses

Of how I love her

so very much

But do I dare

after asking her to take things slow

Maybe that’s the reason I haven’t got

Any further than “Dear Jo “

My head screams

So I try to relax, refrain

Start again

But the nib of my pen is still

frozen to the page

The words just won’t come

They cannot be written

Maybe it’s time for this bullet to bitten

Maybe I should just ring her instead

May contain Rants · Uncategorized

Unfinished conversation from yesterday…

14/09/201408/05/2017 FinLeave a comment

You asked me yesterday

if I believed in hope

in others words for you and I

I couldn’t reply

I told you I needed space to think

So here lies the truth

This what I think

I wasn’t looking for serious

I wasn’t looking for commitment

I had a heart full of brokenness

A soul full of guilt

But you were the Celt gypsy who arrived

to steal my heart and

claim my soul to dance with it

in the rain

Without you I do not live

I merely exist

Without you I do not feel the

breath of air as it enters my lungs

You are every thought that enters

my mind

You are the skin on my bones

For you are integral to my being

You will always be part of me

That’s why I cannot ever stop

being in love with you

So yes I do believe in hope.

May contain Rants · Uncategorized

A four letter word…

11/09/201419/04/2017 FinLeave a comment

I try to write but the words that have been locked inside my head

Desperate to be freed, to be expressed

But the sentences have disappeared

This what a four letter word like meds do to you

My days seem to bleed from one day into the next

As I try to write these words

And as ink connects its self to the page when I think of your name

it weeps through

This is what a four letter word like love do to you

My nights are filled with dread

Every noise, creak, groan

Makes me think there’s monster under my bed

When really it all irrational made up stuff in my head

This is what a four letter word like fear do to you

May contain Rants

Falling in love with you…

17/02/201419/02/2014 Fin5 Comments

Falling in love with you

Was like walking to the waters edge

And Letting the sea dance between my toes

Then spontaneously walking out to sea

Falling backwards not caring how deep I was about to fall

But just knowing that I’d float

Then just drifting

With the sun beating down on me

Totally content,

Completely safe

Feeling freer than I had ever felt before

May contain Rants

When you are ready

10/01/201416/02/2014 Fin4 Comments

We share a love

You and I

Bound by

An unbreakable cord tied by the fates

So do not hide yourself behind a life once lived

With its memories overshadowed by shame

It has been hidden too long

Beneath the ribbons that bind it in its guilt

Allow me to lift the burden that weighs down your heart

Let my love rid you of its torment

Of this life once lived

Its memories now belong to its past

For we now have today and a tomorrow

New memories to forge

And for when you ready

I will be here (as always)

With my heart brimming with love (ready to heal you)

And arms open (ready to hold you)

With shoulders so broad (they will soak up yours tears)

When you are ready

I will be here.

May contain Rants

One of those days

04/10/201321/06/2017 FinLeave a comment

If today was a texture it would be course wool

The kind that makes you itch as it touches your skin

If today was a colour it would grey

The kind of colour of breeze blocks that they use to build prison walls

If today was an emotion it would sorrow

The kind of emotion you know you want to cry

But don’t cos you’re afraid you’ll never stop

If today was a sense it be summed up in a look

The kind of look that disengages you from looking towards the light

If today was a time it would be ten to two

Kind of a time you need time to yourself

But know in reality that’s it’s not going happen until after five

It on days like these that you have to get through

For you never know tomorrow might be

yellow in colour and have the texture of silk

May contain Rants

Smile

18/09/201318/09/2013 FinLeave a comment

Thoughts that blackened my mind

Scurry back to the darkness of their lair

And I am left with a feeling of silence and inner peace

That rejoices and my heart trips as it dances with delight

Positivity projects an image of

Our future

Our life

Our love

Connected

A beautiful collision of mind, body and soul

That’s what we are

And

Have always been

And

This makes me smile

A ray of the sun’s hopes reverberates onto on my shoes

I pass my hand through the beam catching its warmth as it does

The heat seeps through my skin and turns it from grey to pink again

And the positivity begins to trickle through my veins

No longer numb

Thawed

Full of Hope

And

I smile again

I have turned that corner

I have avoided the abyss once again

Slayed my demons one by one

I am well again

And I know that whatever happens from now on in

I will always have reason’s to smile

May contain Rants

First Times

16/05/201316/05/2013 FinLeave a comment

I stand alone with my solitary shadow

with hands empty longing to touch you

with too much time I haven’t got

I spend filling it with regret and if’s and but’s

hours get lost along with me

I sit with cigarette in hand

tears slowly fall and I blame the smoke

I sit and reminiscence of so many memories of beautiful times

the time I first saw you

I’d beamed you were (are) so beautiful

the first kiss ,

I smirked (I cupped your face in my hands)

the first time we touched

I smiled ( I held you so tight I knew I should never let you go)

the first time I saw you naked

I was in awe of you (you relit feelings so deep I forgot they were there)

the first time we made love

I was aroused by you (God remember how nervous we were)

And when we realised our love was lost to the complications of life ( I cried)

I stood alone with my solitary shadow watching

the waves crash against the rocks and I cried a little more.

May contain Rants

Captured

08/04/201302/11/2013 FinLeave a comment

You have captured me

Against my better judgement?

Probably!

You’ve poisoned me with the kiss from your lips

You have captured me

You’ve kidnaped my soul and mixed it with yours

You have captured me

You’ve have blindfolded me and teased my senses

You have captured me

You’ve played beautiful mind games and won

You have captured me

You’ve bound me with silks, but that was just your way of having fun

You have captured me

You’ve fed me your love so that I don’t die of starvation and loneliness

You have captured me

And yet doors have been left open, but neither of us chooses to run

It appears I’ve captured you too!