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Tablets on toast…

Alarm clock rings

Birds sing

Half awake

The bedside lights are still burning

I’m still afraid to sleep in the dark these days

in case the demons return

And I’ve noticed I’ve lost my place in the book I was reading

Before I fell into a dreamlike state

Awake

I am conscious not just of my surroundings

But that my mood has flatlined whilst I’ve been sleeping

Barely I crawl out of bed

I don’t shower

Or dress

Its not the kind of day for effort

I make my way to the kitchen

With glass half empty

And toast on my plate

I pop the pills 1, 2, 3, and 4 onto the toast

But I don’t feel full

Like cheese and beans would make me feel

Tablets on toast just make me feel numb

Until I feel sleepy

Whilst all round me their day has just begun

Mehefin Bolland © 2018

May contain Rants · Uncategorized

Open…

I want to delve inside your heart
To understand what makes it tick
I need to taste you
To know if you’re really bitter or sweet
I need to look through your eyes
To see the beauty that you see
To feel the vibrations of malleus, incus and stapes
So I can understand the sounds that make you dance
To crawl beneath your skin
In order for me to feel every emotion that you feel
I want to explore every inch of you, until I find your soul
And when I do
I will open up to you and tell you how I really feel
Because my gut is saying you feel like home
Mehefin Bolland © 2018

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Regret …

Would we ever have got past the ‘seven-year itch’?

Would our bed have become a bed of death?

I guess we’ll never know

Why did we give up on us too easily , me and you

Couldn’t we have fought harder to save our love?

I suppose life and distance always seemed to get in the way

Yet despite this no one could ever replace you

You are the frozen prayer, the miracle

I asked for

Back then

When my life was missing a piece

I now realise was you

I still speak of you in the present not the past

Because you’ve never really left have you?

You are my biggest regret for I should never have let you go

You are a constant presence that lurks beneath my skin

That stirs whenever I think of you

A temptation I must try to ignore

Mehefin Bolland © 2018

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Rain down on me…

Rain down on me

Baptise me

Allow this blackness to disperse and disappear

For I have grieved far too long for those living and dead

It is if I do not hear the music anymore

I hear a strange lamentation instead

For those that were taken from me too soon or

were lost in heights of love

Rain down on me

So I may open my eyes to see the colour of her hair

Set fire to the sun

Let her warm this dead heart of mine

And let me hear the music once more

Mehefin Bolland © 2018