There are words that needed to be written
Words that will help me in my recovery
Because you have occupied a corner of mind for too long
Words I’ve started to write
Words I thrown away because of the shame
I think of all years I spent hiding me
And protecting you
But not now
So I sit with a blank page ready to write
With the years of hidden anger and rage
My woman has been the only one
until now who knew of this secret
That I carry locked away in my head
She also seen the scars, V
You know the one’s you made on my back!
I think back to younger years when I first fell in love with you
And we were in love once
Many years ago
But you showed you were the jealous kind
You never trusted me
And yet looking back
It’s me who shouldn’t have trusted you
How many times was it V?
And so the cycle of mind game commenced
You broke my independence
My will, my spirit
For what V being nice and talking to other women V?
Then you became bored with the games
Your anger would get out of control
The odd slap once or twice
The bites, the punches
The bruising ,V
So much hidden hurt
You forced on me
Is it bringing back to you?
Well It’s never left me V
And the saddest thing is I would have given you
Everything
But it was never enough
And so many many times I ran from you
For only you to sweet talk me back
You promised me you’d change
But you stayed the same
And I carried on being the fool
And all the time it was like my life’s history repeating itself
There are so many things I could say but I can’t repeat
So many things that you did V
But now I want my conscience cleared of you
I want my mind set free
It took me 3 years to heal the scars
3 years without the touch of another
Because you’d knocked the trust out of me
But I was lucky because I found someone who is the total
Opposite to you
She knows the true meaning of love
She holds me with a gentle touch
That you wouldn’t understand
Her kisses have healed your scars
Her hands clasp round my waist with warmth
All your hands ever did was clasp me round my throat
So these words needed to be written
Because many years ago I told you there was no longer place for you in my bed
So now I’m telling you because I’m stronger than when you left
That there’s no longer a place for you in my head
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.