May contain Rants

Your Beautiful Hands

hands covWhenever I think of you

I think of your hands

I remember how you nursed my mother back to health

With your caring touch

I remember on our first date you placed your hand on my knee

I recall how you asked me to hold your hand

As we walk back to your home

I remember how you changed the position

Your fingers became entwined with mine

How you still hold out your hand for me to hold every time we’re out

I love how your hands feel on my neck as you kiss me

I love how your thumb brushes over my lips when you’ve kissed them

I love the way your hands feel on my waist and  when you hug me

I love how your fingers take a slow stroll across my body

How they tease and caress me

The sensuality in your fingers generate such ecstasy

I remember the softness of the palms of your hands

As I held them when you were in hospital

How I check the length of your life line

As to reassure me that your life was long

That you weren’t going to leave me

How you squeezed my hand back when you awoke

I’ll never forget that one single squeeze of hope

I dream of the day when this land decides to make up its mind

How you and I  will stand face to face

Hand in hand

And how I will place my ring on your finger

The one that’s vein leads straight to your heart

So whenever I think of you

I

Always

Think

Of

Your

Beautiful

Hands

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

A phone call away

phoneAlone in bed I sit writing about you (Always about you )

My phone rings it’s you

You ask me “Are you writing?”

I reply “I am, are you reading, what chapter you on?

You give me a brief summary of what you’ve read

I can hear the excitement in your voice, I smile

You ask me “What you smiling about? “

I ask you “How do you do that?

How do you know my facial expression from a phone call?”

“I just do” you say

Then the conversation continues

“The sky is dark tonight “ you say

We sit /lie apart looking at the night sky

You’re not with me; you’re alone in your bed

But you’re looking at the same night sky as me

We’re barely 3 miles apart

But you feel so very close

I wish I could reach down the phone and look into your eyes so blue

Instead of the dark night andI wish I could tell how much I love you

“You say it’s cold tonight “and I agree

I say “There’s definitely a chill in the air

I wish I could reach down the phone and hold you and keep you warm

Instead of the cold freezing my skin and I wish I could tell you how much I miss you

“You say there is stillness tonight”

I say “I know it doesn’t feel right”

I wish I could reach down the phone and touch you

Instead I sit here still and I wish I could tell you how much I WANT you tonight

You say “It’s getting late ” and you know how early I have to be awake

I say “I know, I’m just finish this verse and then I’m going to sleep”

You reply “I’m finishing off this chapter and I’ll call it a night”

We finish off in unison “Sweet dreams babe, goodnight.”/

“Sweet dreams, night my sweet.”

We both hang up

I finish my verse

I turn off the light

I lie there alone in the dark, cold, still night,

with thoughts of nothing but you

Content knowing that’s what you’re doing too

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

What I would do

legs Before you I was lost deep within inside myself

 My name had returned on the singles list

There was a blackness that rule my head and heart

The girl I once loved, left for someone else far away,

All the relationships gone wrong before

I tried to  hide away

I try desperately to fill the void

Not knowing how to start

My mind in overdrive

I sunk to depths so deep

 Then you arrived

 My heart rejuvenated

 My mind so full of thoughts only of you

 You built me up, you counselled me                                           ,

You loved me and I began to love you (love me too)

So 5 years on and here we are

 We have had laughter, good times, stressful times,

Times we’ve parted and been lonely and miserable

But our love always shines through

Our life together now certain

You mean so much to me

That I would live my life over again

all its bad times, its black times,

I would allow myself to cavort with the demons of my past

For knowing you‘d be there

Even if it was only for

one last kiss

one last touch

one last night in your bed

one last look in your eyes

one last smile

I would do that for you

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

All rights reserved

May contain Rants

Tides

sailThere was a storm that hit our bay

That drifted you too far out to sea

Too far for me to swim and reach out for you,

So far I couldn’t rescue you (rescue us)

I stood on the beach helpless

I watched the flow of the water

carry you away

As the tears flowed down my cheeks

I was weighed down by heavy heart

heavy because it was full of sorrow

I looked out on to the horizon

you were  slowly drifting out of my sight

I thought you set sail towards new lands

I thought the tides of someone else’s ocean

had swept you to their shores

so many days you were lost at sea

I wondered if the tides would ever change their course

and return you back to me

then I saw your signal the beacon of light

the tides had granted me my wishes and guided you safely back to me

you moored yourself by my side

I  made a promise to myself ( to you) to keep you  safe

to never let you drift off back out to sea

because I will always keep your anchor secure, safe in my heart

where  it was meant to be

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

Today we have a tomorrow

We talked and talked
A serious conversation
ground rules set
and then the relief
the heartache lifted
we laughed and laughed
I don’t think we’ve laughed that much
in a long while
I’ve missed your laughter , your smile,
I’ve missed you
you asked how long  could I stay
I said “I am yours for the rest of the evening ”
I was sat on the balcony having a cigarette
I was watching you in the kitchen
God  you looked so beautiful
you came to join me
you came up behind me
wrapped your arms around my waist
you perched your chin on my shoulder
you embraced me with your love
we just stood there in silence
content with feel of each others skin
God I’ve missed you, missed this
then I sensed your posture changed
you spun me round
and looked at me
there was a worried look in your eye
“We’re going okay aren’t we, me and you” you asked me
“Of course we are” I replied
I cupped your face in my hands
I kissed you
God how I missed your kisses
I clasped your hands in mine
I told you there and then today we have a tomorrow
tomorrow we have a future
a future a life together
but tonight we have love to share
and  I led you inside
come on I said “Let me show
you  how I know  we are okay “…
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved

May contain Rants

I can read you like a book.

My head is full of words

Words you told me yesterday of promises and wants

You say come round we’ll discuss it more

But really we know what would happen behind closed doors

A trail of discarded mess and we would ended up bed

Leaving me with you going around and around in my head

See you say you miss me you want to try work things out

But I read your mind; I can read you like a book

Really all your saying is you're missing is the fucks

I’m not being harsh I miss them too

We keep doing this thing with perpetual motion

We’re toying and playing with our emotions

We brush over things for momentary pleasures

Then a quick fuck turns into you staying for the night,

You move in and weeks of wonderful passion, we’re satisfied

Until one of us wakes up and thinks things through

So you take your leave or I ask you to

See I never ever thought I’d fall in love with you

So NO is answer to the question

You proposed to me the other day

We can’t just be fuck buddies me and you and I

I have too much respect for us

I know you do too!

But your words, they dont speak the truth

You’re not thinking straight cos you’re not missing the fucks

This is not you! I know deep down your heart is torn in two

I feel your pain because it's my pain too

You think you need comfort from a quick fuck

But deep deep down you know it’s more than that

It's the  fear of losing our love

That makes you say the things you do

I know because I can read you like a book.

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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May contain Rants

Goodbye

uncle 2

Silently, with heart full of grief

With so much love

I will follow you on your last journey

Deep in thought I will sit quietly and pray for you

As we gather to say goodbye

I will  keep in my heart

all the times

You were there when my father was not

I remember you saying to me

“Do not be too hard on your father

that what he had was an illness, that he is a good man and

he does love you”

 as usual you were right

You had such compassion, just like my Grandfather

I will always be thankful for the shelter and the safety

You gave my mother and I when it was needed

and

times were hard

I thank you for  every holiday you gave me  

For allowing me to have some memories of a happy childhood

I thank you for your acceptance in my choices in love

You never judged, you just embraced anyone that loved me

You beamed at every exam I passed

 As proud as my father was

You always praised me for the way I care  for my mother

You told me “Your Grandfather would be so proud of you”

Those words mean more to me than anything that has ever been said to me

when you needed help

 I had to be there, to repay  you for every single thing you did for me

so tomorrow ,I your niece will silently with heart full of grief

 with so much love

will follow you on your last journey

and if you are looking over my shoulder

Always know that I  will always miss you

because you were always more than just an Uncle to me  

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

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