My Angel

It’s two in the morning

I wake gasping for air and YOU

But neither are there

My heart races, I can hear the

Marching thumps as they get

Louder and louder

and nearer and nearer

my brain is full of confusion

I want to text you but

know I can’t

you’re tending to the REAL sick and needy

then I see one missed called and that 

you’ve sent me a text about

10:45, I must have fallen asleep

it reads “I h8 night shifts, cu in morn sleep well babe luv u: x “

your words begin to calm me down  

because they represent   the ‘Whole’ you,

the woman I allowed myself to fall in love with

I get overwhelmed, begin to cry

if I was younger I’d blame my emotions

 on my  hormone’s playing tricks on me

but I know better…

its 2:30 in the morning

as I’m finding solace in my computer

my phone vibrates it’s you

with your ESP senses

“Hi babe, you ok, how long have you been awake?”

Your question leaves me dumbfounded

I reply “How did you know I was awake?”

“Babe I sleep next to  you at night,

I know when your

agitated ,troubled and scared

it’s always around 2ish

but you are never aware that

when you start shaking

I just wrap my arms around you

 and cuddle you in,”

I realise that I think I’m fine

but underneath   I’m still so damaged

it’s just YOU who takes everything away

during the night

god how did I come to EVER deserve you when

all I do is  selfishly

TRY and push you a way

My

Beautiful

Beautiful

Angel in the night

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland. All rights reserved