Feed my ego, build it up and tear it down
personally don’t give a damn
take me as you find me, I am who I am
you can all become obese on your egos
I rather starve and have my integrity
I write, correction try to write poetry
to release the thoughts that hide deep
in the cavities of my brain
I blog them not for adulation
I’m not doing it for that, not at all
it just that my poems are me stripped bare
all biographical, about my relationship with J
and some about the demons that have taunted me
I blog them because they deserve more
than my usual unruly dyslexic scribble on a page
I want them to make the words appear to be beautiful
that is all.
some deserve it because of the ugliness the have endured
words should always look beautiful,
if even the sound distorts them.
I’m not ungrateful, I am really, really touched
people actually do like them so much.
that in itself is a beautiful surprise
but truth I know they’re full of my dyslexic mistakes
but people actually still like them?
I really don’t understand why?
I deal in honesty and I feel my blog my words feel tainted
it makes sad, in truth it makes want to stop writing on here
and go back to my unruly dyslexic scribble on a page where the real beauty lies
©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.
All rights reserved.