the curse of the ego and a tainted blog

Feed my ego, build it up and tear it down

personally don’t give a damn

take me as you find me, I am who I am

you can all become obese on your egos

I rather starve and have my integrity

I write, correction try to write poetry

to release the thoughts that hide deep

in the cavities of my brain

I blog them not for adulation

I’m not doing it for that, not at all

it just that my poems are me stripped bare

all biographical, about my relationship with J

and some about the demons that have taunted me

I blog them because they deserve more

than my usual unruly dyslexic scribble on a page

I want them to make the words appear to be beautiful

that is all.

some deserve it because of the ugliness the have endured

words should always look beautiful,

if even the sound distorts them.

I’m not ungrateful, I am really, really touched

people actually do like them so much.

that in itself is a beautiful surprise

but truth I know they’re full of my dyslexic  mistakes

but people actually still like them?

I really don’t understand why?

I deal in honesty and I feel my blog my words feel tainted

it makes sad, in truth it makes want to stop writing on here

and go back to my unruly dyslexic scribble on a page where the real beauty lies

©Copyright 2013 by June Bolland.

All rights reserved.