Seeing as I have time on my hands , which is rare for me , I decided to another blog ,as it might be a while until the next one, as I have a feeling January , February are going fairly busy with work, study and the added headache of now flat hunting.
Well 2012 is coming to a close and 2013 is less than 24 hours away. I love New Year it’s one of my favourite Holidays. I suppose it suits my character , because what lays before you is like a brand new shiny clean page just waiting for you to fill with adventures and memories and I like brand new shiny things , I like the neatness of it all.
On the whole 2012 was actually ok, I have no complaints, it leaves me with lessons learnt , and lots of memories and finally I gained contentment.
The start of 2012 was not the best The months prior to 2012 were a struggle for me, which ran into January and February of 2012 , I had been diagnosed as peri-menopausal in September 2011 , which at my age was unusually young, even though I’m in my mid forties. Not only did I have the physical aspects to deal with, far more worrying were the effects the condition did to my mental state, I was going through a mini breakdown, I couldn’t function nor could I concentrate, which for someone like me, who likes order was a nightmare.I’d also split from my girlfriend, the girlfriend I’m back with now .
My doctor prescribed me with anti depressants , which I have had in the past , but I’ve never really been a fan, personally I feel they gloss over things. Now I’m not saying that they don’t have their place in some situations, but they are not for me.They made me tired, and worse of all the made me feel suicidal and I also started to smoke again, I’d also hooked up with this women I had met 2 years prior , who ended up being a complete headfuck as was the relationship, the only saving grace is I didn’t sleep with her and in my state could have easily happened, lets just I was in a really bad way. Anyway I took sometime off work about 4 weeks, came off the meds , finally got rid of the headfuck and breathed a sigh of relief.
By March my head was cleared , my girlfriend who I split from in August 2011, I heard was dating Tom , Dick and Harriet , I tried to put her at the back of my mind but I was gutted when I had heard the rumours that she was seeing other people (All of which weren’t true), you see we never actually parted on bad terms, I sort of pushed her a way because that’s what I do , it all comes down to the issue of love again and also because of what I was going through. However March and my birthday arrived and I received flowers from her and we got back in touch , we met up and talked and talked all evening , and although it wasn’t planned we ended up sleeping together , but hey when are these things ever planned , and we both knew from that moment we should be back together, we’d both been miserable without each other. Although we didn’t announce it immediately we took a little time before we publicly said we were back together and since then things have been great apart from a minor wobble on my part which was over before it really started,
Well April flowed into May and May into June etc etc I managed to quit smoking in May, during the rest of this time my girlfriend and I had some problems to deal with her mum and her acceptance of her daughters sexuality and also because of our relationship as I am twenty years older than her , oh and that we come from totally different social backgrounds. You see I’m my girlfriends first serious lesbian relationship, and she had also just come out to her parents , so I can kind of understand where her mum was coming from at the time, she need time out to get her head around things and also deal with her concerns for daughters future and she also had slight reservations regarding me being older and having previous past relationships and plus the fact that I am a carer. (dating and being a caregiver is one of my future blogs for 2013!)
Well we moved into July and August and this when the year didn’t seem to be going well . My girlfriend has a heart condition which decided to give her a few major problems. It was very serious at one point and we were expecting the worse, major surgery and even worse. I never at the time truly discussed the real graveness of the situation because I couldn’t bear to think about the thought of losing her, let alone tell anyone , so I was very matter of fact about the details I gave, but the last weekend in August we nearly lost her. Thankfully she pulled through only through her mums intervention. Ironically it was during this time her mum and I bonded, and thankfully she has come to realise how much I love her daughter and vice versa and that hopefully we are for keeps .
September and October we dealt with the recovery of my girlfriend , and I decided it was time to bite the bullet and commence gaining my British Sign Language qualifications. All of this was motivated/encouraged by the girlfriend , she’s one determined woman and well basically runs my life for me which is no bad thing, its nice having her at helm!
November arrived with an unwanted visitor. My mum had developed a pressure ulcer in 2009 which took 15 months to heal and it decided to open up again. Luckily we were on the ball and we have saved it being worse that it could have and although it’s doing ok , the medical staff that are looking after it are driving us all nuts,because instead of it being healed by now ,which was a feasible idea they have caused a serious infection to develop ,which is thankfully nearly sorted and so they have caused this to be dragged this into early 2013
Anyways 2013 is nearly upon us and although I don’t make resolutions as a rule ,well not ones immediately starting on January 1st ,I am this year.
First is making an appointment with my doctors for a complete M.O.T as there a few things which are concerning me at the mo, which I’m not going to divulge further on because it’s non of your beeswax!
Secondly time to tone, I’ve put on a bit of weight this year , which is no bad thing as I’m skinny a rake , but I’m not as toned as I use to be and frankly I DON’T LIKE IT, so that’s a goal that has to be achieved and I think it will help with the whole fitness thing.
Thirdly and most importantly STUDY, STUDY AND MORE STUDY, I have to get that qualification in British Sign language!
Fourthly Get back to reading more and lay off social networks ie FB! I have always been avid reader , but this year that has simply not happened. Usually manage 2 book per month , but not this year! Anyway I have complied a list of books that I want to read , they are as follows :-
Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain by Portia de Rossi (Only because it relates to something my girlfriend has lived through)
The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom
The Paris Wife by Paula McLain
The Sisters: The Saga of the Mitford Family by Mary S Lovell
Scotch Verdict by Lillian Faderman
Zeitoun by Dave Eggers
The Lost Summer of Louisa May Alcott by Kelly O’Connor McNees
Well these should keep me going for a few months
Finally try to keep up with the blogging (.I have a list of subjects I want to write about!) and the photography which is coming on slowly.
Anyway I know that there are exciting things around the corner for the girlfriend career wise , I can’t say too much at the moment because things have yet to be finalised .
Anyways Happy New Year Everyone . May 2013 bring you much happiness and fulfilment.